Thursday, February 16, 2006

The update

I forgot to send this update to a couple of friends and family in my usual family email that I send erratically. I'm posting it so no one will feel left out.

Hello everyone,

Just thought I'd update you all on how everything is going at the house of the ill and decrepit.>> HMMMMM where did I leave you last? I don't quite remember so I just give you the last month.

Little Dude is sick - AGAIN!!!!! Well, he's actually better now but he has had bronchitis TWICE in the last month - or more accurately - it never completely went away in the first place and the second time I took him in for it, it was absolutely terrible. He got put on a breathing machine, went to a check up 3 days later and got put on steroids. Well, let me just tell you... "C" is 9 months old now and if I don't get some decent sleep soon I'm going to have "lack of sleep induced psychosis". I don't know if there is such a thing in the medical books, if there isn't - I'll be happy to put it there. Well, not happy exactly...I just won't be able to help myself. I'm getting kind-a worried about my state of mind. Puff the magic dragon came on TV the other night - and I LIKED watching it. God, the looney bin is just a step away.

You know, to give credit where credit is due, "C" has a really good pediatrician, great bedside manner, shows genuine concern, and isn't to bad to look at - but I'm getting fed up with having to see this guy every week or two. Now don't misunderstand me. I don't get upset about seeing a good looking man every now and again - the problem I have with going to see him is the following: 1) my son is sick, 2)while waiting to see the doctor I have to be around hellish little demons other people consider to be children and their inept parents (more on this in another bitch session), 3) it costs me money to get in to see the doctor, 4) it cost me money to get the prescription meds that I need for my son, 5)I almost always have to deal with the billing lady b/c the stupid insurance company withdrew one of the payments it submitted, 6)I have to call the stupid insurance company and find out why they withdrew the payment they submitted and could they please resubmit payment on the payment they submitted but withdrew due to an internal error of stupidity ( it's what I call their "Just kidding - we want that money back" coverage), 7)i miss A LOT of work, and DAMN IT - if I have to go thru all this crap to see the man - can I at least deal with all this money crap AFTER I see him so my eyebrows are not touching the tip of my NOSE, my hair is on fire and my head doing 360's all the while screaming "The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round" trying to keep Connor from screaming and doing the baby juggle from knee to knee and shoulder to shoulder??!! The pacifier (I call it the baby cork) can only pacify so much. To the average on looker, I'm sure it must look like some sort of abuse.

Now we all know me. I'm pretty damn sarcastic and a BIG smart ass (not to be confused with having a big ass) weelll, let's just say that sleep deprivation doesn't lend charm to my humor and the billing lady puts on "The Mask" when I'm there. NO GENIUS - I'm not talking about the one with Jim Carey. I'm talking about the one that anyone working with the public has to wear from time to time. Come on, you know the one I'm talking about. It's the one that says "I hate this lady but I have to put with a certain amount of fluff from her. I'm going to try to be understanding, I'm going to try to be compassionate...I'm going to try NOT to yell back at her because I could possibly lose my job but I'm getting to the point with her that I really don't care and the next time I see she has an appointment I'm calling in sick" mask. AAAAAHHHHH - The billing lady - her name is Linda. I call her Lin> JUST TO PISS HER OFF. To be fair to ol' Lin, she has gone above and beyond the required amount of BS for me. She talks nicey, nicey to the insurance people for me...or maybe she just tells them to pay so she> doesn't have to put up with psycho lady with the screaming baby and smoldering hair anymore... either way I don't give a hoot. The insurance company usually says "Ms. T., we'll resubmit this claim for review to the claims department for their review on this claim." YYYEEEEAAAHHH. Just pay the bill lady. If you have any questions, have your machine call my machine.

"C" is doing much better now.

On the other side of this, we did get a visit from wonderful. Not a person - but SNOW. The reason it was wonderful was because 1) it came on a weekend, 2) we actually got a fair amount 6-8 inches and not just enough to screw up the roads 3) most of it melted on the first day 4) it made the bleak winter landscape beautiful for about 6 hours. 5) I got to play in the snow for a bit with "L", we made snow angels, built a pitiful looking snow man, and had a snowball fight 6) I let my dog out to use the bathroom and some melting snow fell off a tree somewhere and made enough noise for him to bark (anything louder than a fly farting tends to set him off) and then another pile of snow fell from the branch above him a buried him for about 1 tenth of a second. That little dog jumped so high I swear it looked like he cleared the clothes line and came hauling tail back to the house. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Do you remember when you were a kid and you laughed so hard you couldn't breath? I was gasping for air and the dog curled up in his kennel and growled at me - like I was the one that did it. To be honest, if I had known it was going to be that funny - I would have. I'm laughing now! Poor dog wouldn't go back outside until the next day! I'm sure his little bladder felt like> it was going to explode and his eyes had to be floating. "C" just kinda looked at me like "What did I miss?"

The down side to the snow is "L" got invited to a birthday party that same day with the next door neighbors niece, so they packed up her sled and off they went at about 2pm. She came back about 8pm. No wait. No, that's not the bad part. The bad part is that she's SICK. Not that I wasn't expecting it. When she came home her pants we soaking wet from mid thigh down. She was shivering and her teeth were chattering. I immediately put her in a very warm tub, put hot grub in her belly and bundled her off to bed.

TEMP 102.5 WONDERFUL.

Hubby is doing good. I say that because he has somehow managed to not kill me. Along with all this lovely drama - PMS STRIKES AGAIN! The poor man. He's going to die a martyr. I'm just waiting for him to crack. I'm expecting him to try and give himself his insulin shots in the temple or something. Other than that - no worries on that front.

Now do I really need to go into how I'm doing?

OH FINE JUST FINE Does anyone have a Valium?

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