Monday, July 16, 2007

Just Because I Have To

Okay, I'm coming clean.

I'm an insurance salesman - a couple of you know this....

No, I'm not kidding.

Do you want to know one of the problems with being an insurance agent? NO? Tough shit, I'm telling you anyway. Everyone automatically thinks you're lying...and do you know why that is? Because many insurance salesmen do...at least in my experience. I can name 5 insurance agents that I know are honest....I won't tell you how many I know that aren't because it would depress you and send you running for an insurance quote and there would be so many calls that the phone lines would blow up (sounds like I'm flattering myself with the amount of readers...but you know what I meant, don't be difficult)

I will tell you this though. I work for an honest agent. I targeted him when I sent out my resume a couple of years ago because I knew via the grapevine that he was honest, I got lucky, and he hired me.

Now, I know that a lot of you hate the insurance man because you think he's always jerking your chain. You think he's always trying to take you money over some silly shit...always trying to sell you something. ------------that's just a whole other venting session -------------------


When I wrote your policy - you walked out of my office with my personal cell phone number in your hand. I made it clear you were not to call me with questions on your bill. It was an emergency number only. A number reserved for those "OH FUCK ME WITH BILL CLINTONS STINKY TOOL" moments. You wrecked your car? CALL ME. Your house caught fire? CALL ME. You just got an enema? WIPE YOUR ASS and don't eat any whole grains for a while.

I take care of my clients, and I take care of Bossman's clients. That's what I do....but do you know what really pisses me the off?

1 - LONG TERM CLIENTS. Yes, that's right. They fucking piss me off. WHY? Because they always think that because they've been with the company forever and a day they should be able to pay whatever price they want to pay. Yeah. Fuck off.

Insurance is a business like any other business and the prices go up. It's reality, accept it and drive the fuck on. You know the good old days when your insurance went down? Yeah, that doesn't happen much these days, so you can pretty much kiss that shit good-bye, and lick your lips, because that's probably the last taste of that you'll be getting. Inflation goes up - not down....and I don't see the average american's utility bills going down every month...so why in the fuck should your insurance go down hhhmmmmmmmmm?

"Why Mr and Mrs Jones! I see that you aren't using very much electricity these days, why don't we cut your unit cost from 1.00 to .75 for being such a long term client but not actually using our services."

I want to know how many of you actually have had that call happen.

2 - Clients that call me screaming when their rates go up because of the DUI, Reckless Driving, Suspended Lic. and 3 at fault accidence's they've had, have made their rates go up. Think you dumb shit. WHHATTT TTHHHEEE HHEEELLLLL DDDDDOOOO YYYYYOOOOOUUUUUU TTTTHHHHHIIIIIINNNNNNNNNKKKKKK IS GGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNN? I'm not going to call you and tell you that it's gonna be okay and verbally hold your hand and console you because you're fucking stupid AND I'm not gonna take your fucking abuse for your rates going up either. Hit the fucking road ass-munch. I don't get paid to get yelled at, be talked shitty to, to be intimidated (like that happens)or receive snide remarks from you - you walking batch of genital herpes.

3 - Clients who call me and threaten to "shop around" if I don't lower their rates. Fuck you. Go shopping. You want to go somewhere else? Then fucking go. You're threatening me and talking ugly to me, and it isn't conducive to me going out of my way to do shit for you...........not that I can do shit about your rates any damn way. That shit comes down from Regional. I'm all willing to go to bat for you if I don't see any reason for them to go up (mistakes do happen)...(if I do see reason for them to go up...please see above) but if that's the premium, then that's the premium. I can't pull something out of my ass to make you happy, and odds are, anything that I did pull out of my ass...wouldn't make you happy...so you're just SOL all the way around aren't you?




I actually have some really great clients. Some know me well, and some don't....but regardless of which...I'll do my best for you as long as you treat me with common courtesy and respect, but don't expect me to work a friggin miracle - especially when you're a screwed up driver with a bad attitude and bad credit.

I wrote this while very upset. I was a good girl and read over it a bit and deleted the word "Fuck" 7 times. You're stuck with the rest of the fucks because I thought they were good where they were...no pun intended.

Labels:

18 Comments:

At Monday, July 16, 2007 3:23:00 PM, Blogger Meg said...

Wow...um...I think I love my job now?

 
At Monday, July 16, 2007 6:34:00 PM, Anonymous jennyjinx said...

Woo-hoo! That was rantilicious! Let it out! I am so glad I'm not the only one feeling the fire coming out of my ears.

Our insurance agent is a really nice guy. We got him initially for our car, but then we went ahead and got house with him too.

I do hate the company that does our medical though. Those bastards can burn in the flaming pits of hell.

 
At Monday, July 16, 2007 10:05:00 PM, Blogger Sayre said...

Oy! Bad day?

I've been with my insurance guy since I started driving (um...30 years????) and before he was in insurance, he worked for my dad. So I have no qualms about this company. They aren't the cheapest, but are definitely worth every penny. When I had my accident (teenager rear-ended me at about 40 mph while playing with his stereo), they did everything they could to make it easier for me and get my car back on the road. And now they have my house business too. Too bad you can't garantee only grateful customers....

 
At Tuesday, July 17, 2007 1:35:00 AM, Blogger kim said...

Customer service / dealing with the public sucks and people are rude just for the sake of being rude and obnoxious. Its worse when you work in an industry people HAVE to pay for as opposed to a service they WANT...pretty much though people just SUCK ASS!

 
At Tuesday, July 17, 2007 8:03:00 AM, Blogger carmachu said...

I dont believe anything you just said.....I think your lying....:D

 
At Tuesday, July 17, 2007 9:48:00 AM, Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

So like, do I get a refund if I have no accidents and claims and I don't use said insurance that I paid for? I mean, hookin' ain't cheap, and I pay out the ass for insurance since I live in this god forsaken state of NO FAULT insurance. It's only fair, don'tcha think???

 
At Tuesday, July 17, 2007 10:17:00 AM, Anonymous Jeff said...

Let me guess, you save your rants for the blog and not the clients. lol

 
At Tuesday, July 17, 2007 10:22:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Meg - I think I love your job too..and I have no idea what you do. LOL

JJ - Girl, I was indeed feeling the fire.

Sayre - yeah, bad day LOL. Stay with your insurance guy.

Kim - you speak the truth.

Carm - I'm putting you in the headlock.

Christina - Just because your last trick asked for a refund.....
My condolences on living in a no fault state.

 
At Tuesday, July 17, 2007 10:25:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Jeff - yeah. I don't rant at the clients. If they call me screaming, I tell them as soon as they can speak and not yell to call me back and I'll be happy to help them....then I hang up on them.

 
At Tuesday, July 17, 2007 11:29:00 AM, Anonymous nikki said...

Why delete the word fuck? "Fuck" makes everything much more entertaining!

 
At Tuesday, July 17, 2007 8:37:00 PM, Blogger Superstar said...

MOST people are not YOU!!

The rest over sell and under insure...BECAUSE no one wants to pay the PREMIUMS!!! DUHHHHHHH
LOL ;o)

I am so sorry I missed the "director's cut"!!!
~stomps foot and folds arms~

 
At Tuesday, July 17, 2007 9:15:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

Awwww, I knew you loved me....

 
At Wednesday, July 18, 2007 9:25:00 AM, Blogger Pendullum said...

We just renewed our policy...
Had to do the full medical, the works...
And our agent was supposed to come over yesterday to have us sign it...
He called to say he could not make it as he was just in an accident...
He was okay... Just really angry at how stupid the accident was and now he had to wait for a tow truck etc...
I like him, he tells us what we need, no fuss no muss..
I did not trust the guy he replaced...
But have found a respectful good fit with him...
Looking forward to hearing his story about the accident when he comes over to have us sign our policy...

 
At Wednesday, July 18, 2007 11:51:00 AM, Blogger Mama en Fuego said...

Oh Nikki honey, I feel your pain, I used to work for the District Manager for Farmers Insurance and the whiny bitches that would call in about dumb shit used to send me to the roof.

I have USAA now and I gotta say I'm really happy with them, I have NEVER had a CSR be rude or nasty to me and they always have an answer to my question.

Farmers?? Those douche bags fucked me up the ass and twice on Sunday, I hope they rot in hell.

AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm still pissed of from my shit day yesterday regardless of the xanax and beer.

{{kisses}}

 
At Wednesday, July 18, 2007 1:17:00 PM, Blogger Paul Champagne said...

I always tell my customers they can shop me. But I remind them that they know me and the type of service that I provide. Most don't change just because of a couple of dollars, and those that do are probably not customers I want anyway.

 
At Thursday, July 19, 2007 12:25:00 PM, Blogger Chicky Pea said...

"You're threatening me and talking ugly to me, and it isn't conducive to me going out of my way to do shit for you." Amen sister, that pretty much explains my life right now.

 
At Thursday, July 19, 2007 3:11:00 PM, Blogger Rainman said...

Nikky your my hero!

"Christina - Just because your last trick asked for a refund....."

Cant I just fake my address so I dont have to have no fault fuckin insurance?

 
At Sunday, July 22, 2007 10:38:00 PM, Anonymous Annie Drogynous said...

I love you AND your rants.

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home