Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Happy Anniversary To Me

Yesterday was my anniversary. I've been married for 9 years.....9 long, painful, smelly years.

Years filled with flatulence, burping of the ABC's, and dirty underwear on the floor right by the hamper. Years filled with the toilet seat up, the toothpaste cap off, and beard and mustache trimmings in and around the sink.

Years of having to put up with wads of papertowel all over the house, shoes in the middle of the floor and hogging the remote control. Years of enduring the torture that is Nascar...or most any sport really. Years of him swatting me on the ass and saying "Good game."

Years of playing "What will my farts smell like if I eat this?" and "How many body parts can I grope while she runs past me?"

Years of watching him walk around in his old stretched out Hanes he won't let me throw away while scratching his ass. Years of him shaking his willy at me to "get me in the mood", and offering to help me with my headache.

Years of him telling me "You're fucking special" and kissing me on my forehead. Years of him laughing at me when he claims I did or said something stupid (that doesn't ever really happen btw).

*sigh*

It's a damn good thing the sex is still good huh.

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40 Comments:

At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:12:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary!

Really sorry about that NASCAR bit. I'm not sure which is worse, farting or watching cars go round and round on a track...

But I hope its all worth it. :)

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:16:00 AM, Anonymous jennyjinx said...

Big Congrats! I'm glad that the fart and underwear things seem to be universal, and become easier to deal with in time.

Big hugs to you two! May you have 71* more years of great passion.


*Just to make it an even 80, ya know, after 80 years of marriage I hear the passion kind of goes by the wayside.

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:48:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Shrig - Thanks, and I'm sorry about the Nascar bit too LOL...but it IS worth it...he changes diapers after all LOL

Jenny - I came to understand that the 7 year itch wasn't what I thought it was in the traditional sense. It's when they have their hands down their pants for what seems like 7 years scratching something LOL

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 11:07:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now THAT is what I call romance.
Happy Anniversary!

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 12:27:00 PM, Anonymous nikki said...

holy fucking bejjeesus, are we married to the same man?

happy anniverary!

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 12:44:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Years of playing "What will my farts smell like if I eat this?" and "How many body parts can I grope while she runs past me?"

Funniest fucking post ever...seriously girl you had me cryin with this shit. I gotta go fix my mascara now.

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 1:36:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary, I think..........

You sound so.........happy?

Here's to another 9 years of bliss

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 2:41:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dirty wears make-up?

Happy Lovey Dovey day.

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 3:24:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

OTJ - How could I resist?

Dirty - I have not yet worn mascara since I burned my eyelashes off. I don't miss it.

Iris - Thanks. Oh yeah - it's bliss, but only because the biological weopon that is his ass keeps spewing memory wiping fumes, so I THINK I'm happy. LOL

Christina - so she claims

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 3:26:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure reads like 9 good married years! Happy Anniversary to you both!

Enjoy the sex while you still can and able! ;-)

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 3:34:00 PM, Blogger carrie said...

That sounds eerily familiar!!!

Happy Anniversary to both of you!!!

Carrie

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 4:31:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary! WHOOO HOOO!!!

You ROCK!!!

LOL scratching azz and worn out hanes! lOL ;o)

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 9:12:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy 'versary, bitch! I hope you have a great one.u

 
At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 9:44:00 PM, Anonymous quinn said...

Happy Anniversary ...

at first your post makes people take a double look I think ..with all the fart talk is someone wasn't a regular they would wonder what a kid obsessed with farts would have to do with your wedding anniversary..although those of us that are married..of course knew already that it was hubby you are reffering to.
HA ...
all the best

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 2:43:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A tale of encouragement for anyone contemplating marriage. Human endurance knows no limits, eh?

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 7:42:00 AM, Blogger Scully said...

Ah, but did he get you an anniversary present?

Seriously, happy anniversary and congrats on 9 years. I know how hard it is to get that far.

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 7:53:00 AM, Blogger Attila The Mom said...

Happy Anniversary!!

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 7:56:00 AM, Anonymous Sayre said...

I got my hubby some nice new underwear and he PREFERS the old, thin saggy stuff. Makes me think he might rather have boxers (old man underwear) rather than briefs...

And the farting - well, I think that might be a serious guy thing (unless you're ultra-feminine OTJ). Frankly, I'd rather have the farts than NASCAR.

Happy Anniversary!

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 10:56:00 AM, Blogger Misha said...

Happy Anniversary!

You know you love it. :)

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 1:11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Men are so romantic, they just know how to sweep a lady off her feet... fart in her direction!

A belated Happy Anniversary Sweetie.

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 1:38:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!
congratulations on 9 wonderful years and here's to more :)
BTW: i put up the sari pics

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 2:11:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

Congrats, happy Anniversary!

Here's to nine more years of farts and groping and getting over headaches.....and teh sex part.

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 2:40:00 PM, Blogger Pendullum said...

Happy Anniversary....

And to think he is all yours!!!!

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 5:25:00 PM, Anonymous Jeff said...

Happy Anniversary (belated). So that's happiness, eh?

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 6:46:00 PM, Blogger Elle*Bee said...

Happy Anniversary!

 
At Thursday, January 11, 2007 7:20:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary! What an awesome post! Very sweet.

 
At Friday, January 12, 2007 1:05:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

and you know that you've loved every minute of it. just think: you could be the crazy cat lady...like i'm becoming. run away, nikki, run away!

 
At Friday, January 12, 2007 5:08:00 AM, Blogger Sophia said...

Aw, Nikki. Happy Anniversary! My parents' anniversary is also January 9!

 
At Friday, January 12, 2007 5:22:00 AM, Anonymous Annie Drogynous said...

Happy Anniversary! Sounds like it's all been a real treat! lol

 
At Friday, January 12, 2007 1:04:00 PM, Blogger WOA said...

Yep. I'm there with the whole 9 years thing. The wife and I hit that milestone in June. However, it's HER farts that dominate the marriage/bedroom. Men aren't the only *fart* ones that *fart* pass gas *fart*. *fart* what was I saying?

 
At Friday, January 12, 2007 1:14:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Stinky - I was just kidding about that part LMAO - no, now I'm REALLY kidding. LMAO

Carrie - you live in your own personal hell too huh LOL

Super - liked that visual huh. LOL

Chicky - Thanks HO ;)

Quinn - LOL - I didn't think of that.

Joe - just trying to increase the marraige rate LOL. Do you think it worked?

Scully - no, I didn't get a present. I didn't want anything, money is still to tight after Christmas.

ATM - thanks - now gimme some money.

Sayre - Can I opt our of bother?

Misha - oh yeah *cough* just send oxygen.

St Jude - LOL to true

Me - that sari is absolutely the most beautiful one I have ever seen. You're going to be a beautiful bride.

Carm - the sex part is pretty damn important LOL

Pend - yeah, I'm priveledged (deadpan voice)

Jeff - I claim it as happiness - I don't know if it really is or not though, but it's all I've got. LOL

Elle - thank you madam.

Cece - sweet? how dare you cuss at me like that LOL

Kat - I have many times predicted that should Charles ever kick the bucket, I will be the old lady that lives on the corner in the run down victorian house with a million kitties running around. MEOW

Sophia - HEY STRANGER!!!!! hope the prenancy is going well...and tell your folks I said happy anniversary.

Annie - a real treat? Well, I won't be bumping up to the buffett for seconds if that's what you mean LMAO.

 
At Friday, January 12, 2007 1:44:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

WOA - dude, you have to do something about those barking spiders over there. I couldn't hear a damn thing you said.

 
At Friday, January 12, 2007 3:14:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do I think your post has worked to increase marriage rates?

Ha haha a ahha ahha ah

ROFL

hahaha a ha h ahh a ahh a

SNORT

In a word

Non, no, niet, Nie

 
At Sunday, February 11, 2007 11:10:00 AM, Blogger Slackermommy said...

Too funny! I think we are married to the same man!

 
At Monday, February 12, 2007 1:03:00 AM, Blogger Kristen said...

Wow- are you sure your husband's name is Charles and not Tim? My fiance must be in disguise at your house!!!

 
At Monday, February 12, 2007 1:04:00 AM, Blogger Kristen said...

Except the NASCAR.

 
At Friday, February 23, 2007 12:11:00 AM, Blogger Janis said...

I really started to laugh when I remembered my mother saying half-hushed and urgent , "Don't you dare tell anyone your father walks around in his underwear, scratches and passes gas."

My reply, "Mom, just because he's a preacher doesn't make him different from anyone else's dad."

I was 14. It was 1982. They never change. I daily thank God I'm a lesbian.

(She'd shit if she knew I actually put my name on this, as if someone can find me with my first name....)

 
At Friday, February 23, 2007 12:12:00 AM, Blogger Janis said...

No NASCAR, but somehow he convinced us that football was part of his job.

 
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