I'm Feeling Good

I can cook.


Now I realize that I may be getting way ahead of myself here, especially in light of my online confession here...but I think the ol' brain has finally assimilated some information on how not to burn food.

I've been on a really good..uh...good food cooking streak for a while now, and that just doesn't happen. I usually pump out something palatable ...oh....I'd say...about one dish (dish people, not meal)every 2 weeks or so.....but I am really topping myself here lately (not that I'm ready to go onto Hell's Kitchen or anything).

Last night I made the yummiest chicken ever. It wasn't dried up like old cardboard like it usually is....it was tender and juicy and it wasn't raw in the middle or burnt on the outside....the juices fairly burst from the chicken when we cut it. The mashed potatoes were perfection, the green beans were GREEN and had not withered in the pot from lack of stirring. The cucumbers were sliced in uniform pieces with no gouges on the sides and the sweet tea was just right.....and to think, I didn't even have to lock the children up in their rooms or duct tape them to the floor so I could accomplish this.

I also made a home made blackberry pie last night...my first pie ever....and it tastes wonderful....and I don't even like blackberries! I will however admit to calling my mother in law at least 5 different times to assist me. I can say whatever else about the woman...but she can cook like no body's business.

The night before last, I made the most tender and mouth watering cubed steak that God could think to grace the earth with. The rice wasn't crunchy, the broccoli was just right and I served that with fresh sliced tomatoes and onions. I damn near had an orgasm half way thru dinner.(and no, that didn't upset the hubby, he was happy....said it just meant he wouldn't have to work as hard later)

The ultimate test was this evening though.

I went to the store and got a lemon cake and frosting, and decided that's what I would have for my birthday. I went home, started mixing and suddenly realized that I didn't have any oil for the recipe...in a daring and clever move...I decided to substitute 2 egg whites for 1/3 cup of oil....and that was when it struck me like a bolt of lightening....it was time to confront my one true nemesis...the culinary creation of evil!!!!!!!...the bundt cake.

Laugh if you must. I have failed so miserably at these things over the years its just pathetic (more pathetic than my normal cooking if you can imagine that). My one true claim to fame has been cupcakes....it is after all.....hard to screw them up.....but I was feeling confident after the resounding success of the blueberry pie...and dug back....WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY back to the back of the cabinets and pulled out my two bundt cake pans.

I was in a quandary. Which one should I pick? I chose the green one over the orange. I have failed at my last 3 bundt cake attempts in the orange pan......sprayed with Pam....and poured my smooth delicious looking batter. I had changed the position of the racks in the oven....something that I have just taken to doing frequently (I think this has a lot to do with my recent successes), slid the pan in, and set the timer.

There was nothing to do but wait, and wait and wait. I resisted temptation as much as possible to open the door and peak in. The last bundt cake fell AND burnt because of my compulsion I think.....and 38 minutes later, I pulled out the most beautiful bundt cake ever. It wasn't just lovely in comparison to my usual cooking....it was lovely in general. It looked like something normal people would eat....and I was proud.

After a dinner of left over cubed steak, chicken, green beans and rice, I cut a small slice of cake.....cake I had left unfrosted.....the first unfrosted cake I have ever made. I admired the smell, color and the moistness....noticed it was a little dense for my liking BUT! it hadn't fallen....I picked up my fork, anticipating the zing of the lemon....and the phone rang. DDDDAAAAMMMMNNNNN!

It was my mother in law...calling to check and see how the blueberry pie came out....I gave the phone to Charles and sat back down. I quickly cut a piece and scooped it up with my fork.

It was wonderful.

I gave everyone at the table a bite of my cake...finished every last crumb on my plate...looked at Charles and said

"You only had to wait 10 years for me to learn how to cook."

he chuckled

"I think I'm just going to sit here and be smug for a while. I feel awful proud of myself"

"You did good baby"

"Yeah, now if I could only learn to keep a good house"

"Don't get ahead of yourself"

"Ass"

*sticks out tongue at me*