Monday, May 01, 2006

Dressing Room Brain Teaser

What is it with department stores and their stupid dressing room rules? Why do they only allow us to take a small number of things to try on in those terribly small and pathetically lit rooms at a time?
I have several theories about this that I will list for you in all their glory.
We can only take a maximum of 6 things at a time into a dressing room at a time because...

1. The rooms are so small that only 6 pair of underwear at a time will fit in that little room with you.

2. You and your six pair of underwear have just reached the maximum occupancy load for that room.

3. If you hang anything heavier on the walls than those six pair of underwear, the crepe paper walls will come tumbling down.

4. Those sales geniuses up at corporate know that women would grab everything they could off the rack and try it all on and stay in the dressing room for at least 3-4 hours fantasizing how we would look in that at the club if we could only afford it.

5. This is the way they make us go back through the isles to see if there is anything else in there that we can buy.

6.The flickering fluorescent lights are secretly sending subliminal messages to spend more money and anything more than 6 pair of underwear would block you getting the messages.

7. There really are people behind the mirrors watching us undress and dress and they can only handle our scary bodies for no more than six articles of clothing at a time. Anyone with a great body is allowed 10 items.

8. They also sell medication to help you get rid of the bruises you acquired on your elbows and knees while trying to change in that cramped little room and anything more than 6 pair of underwear would keep you from picking it up.

9. They want to sell a lot of underwear.

10. They're either really stupid or really smart, I haven't figured out which yet, which means, I probably just really stupid.

11. The men that are in that store aren't really there to shop for themselves, they just want to see what kind of underwear you are getting, but will buy something to make it look like they were shopping, thus boosting department stores sales.

12. They don't want to listen to your children scream in the dressing room for any longer than necessary and thusly limit your time in there. The echoes in those rooms could damage your hearing after listening to caterwauling kids for 15 mins. Straight.

13. It's not really a department store at all. A secret gambling casino that is hidden behind the kitchen appliances and they don't want you there any longer than you have to be to minimize the risk of being exposed. (play appropriate Mission Impossible theme here)

14. Cause their Mama told them it should be done that way.

What is your theory? Or do you think I have finally gone off the deep end?



At Tuesday, May 02, 2006 3:49:00 AM, Blogger Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

You missed an obvious one Nikki - the average dressing room attendant struggles with numbers higher than 6 (in the UK it is generally 4 items - talk about falling education standards!)

At Tuesday, May 02, 2006 8:00:00 AM, Blogger Me said...

Because most fitting room people can't concentrate over 6. I used to be a fitting room worker and trust me, it's so deadly boring, I couldn't concentrate for nuts.
Retail and Food industry - two of the suckiest jobs in the world.

At Tuesday, May 02, 2006 9:09:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Dr - 4 items? I have to agree with the failing education standards

Me - Welcome to my torture chamber.I did fast food for a bit. I can't say I cared for it either.

At Tuesday, May 02, 2006 1:45:00 PM, Blogger jennster said...

lmfao- THIS IS SUCH A GOOD FUCING QUESTION! i mean seriously. what's with the limitations?!? WHYYYYYYYY can we only bring that few items in? and then you have to swap them out. good lord people, let me bring all the pants i want in.

At Tuesday, May 02, 2006 2:00:00 PM, Blogger Rhonda said...

For me, they limit the items because the minute I see myself naked under those flourescent lights, I start screaming . ..

And I don't stop until I am back home.

Either that, or one of your fabulously funny conspiracy theories.

At Tuesday, May 02, 2006 4:03:00 PM, Blogger Undercover Angel said...

Great theories...and here to think I always thought it was to cut down on shop lifting!

Maybe it's because those little racks they have for you to hang clothes back up on in the change rooms are so small, that if there are any more than 6 items you'll have to put them on the floor?


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