Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Pissing and Moaning

When I first started blogging, I thought "I'm a mother of two who works full time, I've got a lot of pets and I'm a smart ass. I shouldn't have any problem coming up with something to put up on my blog."

Umm, yyeeeaaahhh.

All I can come with recently is political stuff and I refuse to blog about it because I will become very upset. I am one of those people who can not talk about politics calmly, I will scream at you. I was in a class a few years ago and the subject came around to Bill Clinton and Monica "Give me a Cigar" Lewinski and I started screaming at the Instructor. I didn't realize I was screaming until after I was done. I suddenly realized that my throat hurt and I was out of breath. It only helped a little bit when the class erupted in applause afterwards (that really happened). I was embarrassed because I had lost my cool (okay, I didn't just lose it. I did a wind-up like a pro ball player and gave it a good fling). Therefore, I do not talk politics. I will listen to you while you talk politics, but I will seldom join in. Frequently, I walk away - especially if I think you're stupid.

I'm not going to go into religion.

I could talk about stupid people. I mean, lets be honest, there is such a variety to chose from! And we all love hearing about what some other idiot did so we feel less like idiots ourselves. It makes us feel like we are entitled to the oxygen that we use. I myself have submitted a form with the federal government requesting more oxygen for me personally. Why? Because I have been on one of those "Damn, I can't believe I did that." streaks here lately and I am convinced it's because those other idiots are using up my valuable oxygen and making me into an idiot as well. It's like a virus- that shit spreads.

I could talk about the screwy credit system we have. Once upon fifty years ago, there was a saying "Neither a borrower nor a lender be." These days, if you don't borrow, you can't get anything. IT'S TO EXPENSIVE, unless of course you're Bill Gates or Donald Trump. That just kills me!! I mean, how many times has Donald Trump filed for Bankruptcy? And he is still dealing in multimillion dollar deals when the average American has to practically go on bended knee to get a couple of thousand!! Who set that shit up? (One of the above mentioned idiots I'm sure)

I could gripe about how much it sucks doing housework. That's always a hot topic, but I don't want to go there. Some genius will probably offer the never before thought of advice of "Get a housekeeper". Sure I will, as long as you are the one paying for it and don't expect reimbursement either. Seriously, I wouldn't be able to do that. I would feel uncomfortable with the thought that someone else may have gone through my underwear drawer - not that they aren't clean, but still. WHAT IF THEY HAD JUST PICKED THEIR NOSE AND THEN WENT THROUGH MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER?!. And what if I get one of those housekeepers that have sticky fingers, like poor Dr McCrumble's (10 Jan 06 entry) mother-in-law? As often as I lose things? Nope. I'd have somebody in the headlock, switch to a half-nelson and then SMACK, right in the keester, only stopping when my Hubby yells "Hey! Here it is! It was under the cat!"

So I guess what I'm saying here is... I have nothing to say. A bit long winded, don't you think?

13 Comments:

At Tuesday, April 25, 2006 5:46:00 PM, Blogger Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

I just watched a talking-heads style programme on the telly called 'Grumpy Old Men'. They had plenty to say, and so do you. Are you perhaps related ha ha? Keep it up. This is the place to do it....

P.S. HIL is coming this weekend. If Mrs Dr McC sanctions it, I'll post an uncensored version of events next Monday .

 
At Tuesday, April 25, 2006 10:50:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Good luck with your gems and such Dr. I would love to hear all about it.

 
At Wednesday, April 26, 2006 10:19:00 AM, Blogger Charlie said...

God, I love a whiner, pisser, moaner, and complainer!!! I thought I was good at it, but you take the prize.

Personally, I think politicians, the rich, and stupid people (I have just been redundant two times), should all be put to sleep.
I'll give you my veterinarian's phone number.

 
At Wednesday, April 26, 2006 10:43:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Thanks for the love Admiral.

 
At Wednesday, April 26, 2006 10:53:00 AM, Blogger Misha said...

I hear ya sister.

I think I would be blaming the housekeeper when I couldn't find the black magic marker I saw two years ago.

But at least I'm better than my boyfriend at finding things. He couldn't find tits in a strip joint.

 
At Wednesday, April 26, 2006 11:15:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Misha, I swear you kill me.

 
At Wednesday, April 26, 2006 11:19:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Admiral, reading back over it, your right. It is a piss and moan essay isn't it. LOL

My apologies to all my readers.

 
At Wednesday, April 26, 2006 4:04:00 PM, Blogger Attila The Mom said...

...so tell us about your sex life!

 
At Wednesday, April 26, 2006 4:29:00 PM, Blogger St Jude said...

there is nothing wrong with a bit of piss and moan. I have to say I prefer my piss vertical and my moan horizontal. Oh er, I think I just tripped over my halo. Keep going your HIL makes mine feel possitively nice at times.

 
At Wednesday, April 26, 2006 9:05:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Attila - I would, but I don't have any complaints in that department, plus I think you all may be to young.

St. Jude - don't worry about the halo, you can buff out that scratch, and I agree with you on the direction of the pissing and moaning. HIL installment coming tomorrow for those of you ready for more.

 
At Thursday, April 27, 2006 3:51:00 AM, Blogger Panacea said...

Ha! I think your piss and moan is a completely reasonable one as far as pisses and moans do go.

I could talk about stupid people. I mean, lets be honest, there is such a variety to chose from!

I like this line, maybe you can choose your recent favourites and talk about them, at times. :)

 
At Friday, April 28, 2006 1:17:00 AM, Blogger Rhonda said...

I could never hire a housekeeper. I'd be compelled to clean up before she came so she wouldn't know what a slob I am.

 
At Friday, April 28, 2006 9:07:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Rhonda -HA HA! I know just what you mean.

 

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