Sunday, May 07, 2006

10 Things About Me to Confuse You

  1. I love practical jokes. Not the kind where you get a bucket of water dumped on your head, there's nothing funny about that unless you've been swimming and are already all wet - I'm not totally hateful - just mostly hateful.
  2. I have a scar from a bullet on my upper thigh... just kidding.
  3. I enjoy my own humor. A.k.a., I laugh at my own jokes, which to most people is bad manners. I don't get that. Why would you make a joke that you don't laugh at? Laugh for crying out loud. Laughter is good. I will laugh with you and at you. I will laugh at myself first because well, I'm funnier than you. No really, joking aside, I don't feel that you should be able to laugh at anyone or anything unless you are able to laugh at yourself first.
  4. I dislike stupid people, elitist asses, and drama queen/kings equally.
  5. I feel uncomfortable expressing my emotions unless I am talking to my immediate family. Otherwise, it comes out as a joke. Yes, I know, bad form, but what can ya do?
  6. When I had my daughter 8 years ago, I didn't even know how to change a diaper or hold a baby. I wish I could describe the nurses faces from the delivery room when one of them asked me if I wanted to hold her and I told her I didn't know how.
  7. I am currently trying to expand my horizons. One of the ways I am doing this is by visiting various different types of blogs. I like the fact that I get that personal feed back from most of them and some good debates and conversation come from them as well.
  8. I have a bad temper and show it to just about everyone except my children. I'm working on fixing that. My mother told me a while back that I should control my temper and not let it control me. Even I can not deny the truth and wisdom in those words. I am having a hard time balancing that with when I feel like someone is insulting me or doing me wrong in someway. I have a hard time not cussing them out on the spot. I am trying to get my brain to shift into a mode where I can tell them off without cussing them out - rather than giving them the standard - GO FUCK YOURSELF - BITE ME DIPSHIT - or the ever popular - SIT ON IT AND SPIN DICKHEAD. And no, I do not have a problem with confrontation, though I rarely instigate it.
  9. My father died when I was 9 from a brain tumor. I have some memories of him, mostly of when he was sick - radiation, chemotherapy, 3 different surgeries. I feel cheated. I have a lot I would like to talk to him about.
  10. I LOVE classical music like Bach and Mozart, enjoy some opera, love ballet and believe classical guitar is the best thing ever.

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At Monday, May 08, 2006 3:10:00 PM, Blogger jennster said...

LMFAO! i am cracking up!!!! dude, i think i'm the only mom in the world who didn't want to hold her baby when he was all gross, slimy and bloody. i was like, can you clean him off first and then hand him to me?!?!
i was like, dude you got shot?! LIAR! lol
i am SO sorry about your father. that is really really sad. :(

At Monday, May 08, 2006 3:33:00 PM, Blogger Misha said...

Totally with you on 3 & 4.

If they don't think we're funny motherfuckers, then something is definitely wrong with them.

Right on! :)

At Monday, May 08, 2006 3:42:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Jenn - I was cracking up when I wrote the thing about the scar.

Misha - Amen sista.

At Monday, May 08, 2006 5:36:00 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

my kids were born via c-section and as far as i could tell, born with little hats and booties.

all good!

At Monday, May 08, 2006 7:16:00 PM, Blogger St Jude said...

10) I learnt to play classical guitar for five years! there you go.

9) When someone 'leaves' us it doesn't stop us loving them. It also shouldn't stop us from talking to them.

At Monday, May 08, 2006 9:57:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Kristine - Welcome to my blog.

St Jude - So go to see you up and floating again. I might kidnap you to play some for me, I just love to hear the guitar - squeeks and all.

I do talk, but he doesn't answer, and I will always love him. Just kinda sucks ass that he died beforee my sense of humor developed full bloom. I mean really, why shouldn't he be tortured with my bad jokes along with everyone else?

At Monday, May 08, 2006 11:29:00 PM, Blogger Rhonda said...

I belly-laughed about the scar and felt incredibly sad for you about your father. I can relate.

Much as I hate being the recipient of list tags, I love reading the lists of other people. I know so much more about you now :)

At Monday, May 08, 2006 11:38:00 PM, Blogger Jimbo Big Toe said...

I never knew #3 was bad manners. Thanks for the info and I think your blog frog spit on me.

At Monday, May 08, 2006 11:59:00 PM, Blogger Me said...

I hear you on # 8. All the best with that. But you know if there weren't so many elitist asses and drama people around, we wouldn't be losing our temper now, would we? :)

At Tuesday, May 09, 2006 9:26:00 AM, Blogger Sven said...


I haven't been here in a few days so I read this psot first and then I scrolled down to "Nikki's Moving Up In The World". That one puts #8 in perspective.

BTW, if you don't laugh at your own jokes they must not be funny. That's what I like about the old 70s TV show Good Times - it was one of the only TV sitcoms where the characters laughed at their own jokes.

At Tuesday, May 09, 2006 2:50:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Sorry for the delay in responding but the computers have been out all day.

Rhonda - I'm the same I love reading other people's lists - you learn all sorts of interesting things.

Jimbo - sorry about that, I'm working on house breaking him, so that might not be spit. LOL

Me - you have such a good point!

Sven - believe it or not - i didn't write that post while I was upset. I laughed the entire time. The post I had originally intended to put up as a response...well it wasn't very nice. Then it hit me out of the blue...I GOT HATE MAIL! I mean, come on! ME! Someone obviously didn't take her lithium.

At Tuesday, May 09, 2006 3:02:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

and I agree with you 100% on the joke point

At Thursday, May 11, 2006 9:11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

While i was reading your blog memeories of you father came back to me so strong. No one could have a child more like them than you are. You have a lot of the same interest he had, I see a lot of his personalilty in you, and yes, you have his temper. I am also getting to know you better by reading your blog. Thank you so much for writing it.
I Love you,
Aunt Debbie

At Thursday, May 11, 2006 3:16:00 PM, Blogger Kevin Charnas said...

"SIT ON IT AND SPIN DICKHEAD" - HA! excellent. You're a woman after my own heart. Much of that made me BURST out laughing, thank you. And yeah, if you can't laugh at yourself? You just left the job to me and Nikki...and believe us when we say, we're gonna do a good job.

I'm sorry about your Dad...I really am, it makes my heart hurt for you.

And...I LOVE classical music too. When I've attended the orchestra, which has been quite often over the years, I've often thought how much I would like to jump up and scream; "MOZART'S PIANO AND CLARINET CONCERTOS!!! BEETHOVEN'S 5th IN G-MINOR! ROCK ON!!! PLAY THAT FIDDLE YOU FUCKERS!!!

and Tchaikovsky's March Slav makes me want to RIP my clothes off and run down the case you were wondering.

At Thursday, May 11, 2006 4:27:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Kevin - Thanks for stopping by! I love your blog.

Play that fiddle you fuckers! - well said.

If you should ever feel over come by the urge to run down the street naked, please send me a couple of pictures so I can post it and blog all about it! HA HA


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