Friday, August 11, 2006

Dear Little Miss Dumb Shit,

Get the fuck out of my office. You condescending little bitch. If you knew how badly I wanted to smack you right now, you'd run for the hills.

I'm not even a little bit interested in the "all oak" steps in you house that lead up from the basement. I don't give a shit that all rooms in your home have ceiling fans. I give a flying fuck that you have hardwood floors in the kitchen.

You have two children who are spoiled little brats, and even though I have said something to YOU and to THEM, you still do not correct them. You ignore them, so much more focused on your shiny new house than their behavior. Never mind the fact that they are climbing up my filing cabinets and could be crushed if one came down on top of him. I have told them both, the youngest one 3 times, to get down.

Your husband is a nice guy. Why in the hell he would want to be married to you - I have no idea. You're a materialistic bitch who isn't even remotely interested in raising your kids and you screw around on your husband. I saw you - you fuckin whore. I had to go into town late one day last week and there you making out with some guy in the parking lot. IN THE PARKING LOT AT WALMART!!!! Could you have picked a more public place?

If you were even partially human, I would be happy about your new home with you. I would ooh and aah and talk about all those features you are so obviously obsessed about and offer your kids some candy - but I won't.

You are a sub-human, sub-mother, sub-wife bitch and I would love to jack your jaw just one time. And let's not forget the fact that you really are dumb. I'm not kidding. You're fucking dumb. Dumb in away that says that you couldn't finish high school and had to drop out because the "How NOT To Break Your Crayons" class was to complex for you.

...and just incase you didn't notice, that hair that you keep flipping...yeah, your blond highlights have turned green hon. Go get that shit fixed.



At Friday, August 11, 2006 9:39:00 AM, Blogger Shrig said...

She has a beautiful house with kids and a husband and she makes out at WALMART!?!

That's classy.

PS. Remind me to never get on your bad side. ;)

At Friday, August 11, 2006 10:01:00 AM, Blogger Sayre said...

What an idiot. Hope the nice-guy husband wakes up soon before he catches something.

At Friday, August 11, 2006 10:21:00 AM, Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

But, but, nikki, tell us how you REALLY feel. *ducks*

You go, bitch!

At Friday, August 11, 2006 11:01:00 AM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Shrig - that's KLASSY - with a K!

Go get her Nikki!

At Friday, August 11, 2006 11:07:00 AM, Blogger Spill The Beans said...

I think I'm falling in love with you, Nikki.


At Friday, August 11, 2006 12:10:00 PM, Anonymous melissa b. said...

I was giggling until the end, with the green highights, and then I lost my shit. Ha!

At Friday, August 11, 2006 1:23:00 PM, Blogger kim said...

she needs to be bitch-slapped!

i hate people like that .. and her poor kids *sigh*

At Friday, August 11, 2006 2:35:00 PM, Anonymous nikki m. said...

i bet she ate paste as a kid too. walmart you say?!?!?! nothing says "classy whore" like walmart. at least the rest of us choose to cheat on our husband's in the target parking lot.

At Friday, August 11, 2006 2:43:00 PM, Blogger Los said...

Well, you can't spell class withouth "ASS."

At Friday, August 11, 2006 2:47:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Shrig - Yeah - she was CLASSYYYY. Especially when she started digging under her fingernails and flicking whatever the hell it was that she found on my floor. EW

Sayre - She is a true idiot. To bad for her hubby. I like the guy.

Christina - I'm sending you all my laundry from this week just for that - get to washing.

Joy - I really wish I could have hit her. I don't come across people that I really want to hit to often - but her! was quite a fight to keep from doing anything.

Trouble - It's okay - you can love me - my hubby will like that.LOL

Melissa - I wanted to set her hair on fire. LOL

Kim - I know - those poor little kids. You gotta feel bad for em.

Nikki - Target? No, I don't think so..I go for K-Mart LOL

At Friday, August 11, 2006 2:49:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Los - very good point. LOL

At Friday, August 11, 2006 3:24:00 PM, Blogger Farm Girl said...

nikki - really, I love you! Sounds like the perfect trophy wife.

At Friday, August 11, 2006 3:53:00 PM, Blogger Dirty Birdie said...

My hightlights are NOT green, and I don't use crayons, I use markers.

At Friday, August 11, 2006 4:02:00 PM, Blogger Elle*Bee said...

so tell us how you *really* feel, Nikki. ;-)

(I love that you call it as you see it.)

At Friday, August 11, 2006 4:57:00 PM, Blogger Stinkypaw said...

There's people like that you just want to feel their nose's cartilage crunch under your fist!

You tell her!

At Friday, August 11, 2006 5:08:00 PM, Blogger jennster said...

LMFAO. omg. you crazy!

At Friday, August 11, 2006 7:01:00 PM, Blogger Pendullum said...

Making out in the parking lot of Walmart???
Did you write making out in the parking lot of walmart???

ohhhh.... my......

were the kids in the car?

was it one of the check out guys with the real sexy blue vests with the big yellow happy face pins stuck to it???

At Friday, August 11, 2006 7:53:00 PM, Blogger happykat said...

I hate to skew your bitchfest, but I'm trying to figure out what makes people like this tick.

Why are they this way?

Can you imagine how alone that person is?
She's looking for happiness in sex and materialistic things, but I find it difficult to believe she will ever find it.

This is sad in more ways than one.

(not that I feel sympathy for that chick...its more like pity)

At Friday, August 11, 2006 9:19:00 PM, Blogger parnellpr said...

That has to be one of the best rants i have ever read! Don't worry she'll get found out and then you'll have HUUUUGE licence to gloat about how wonderful YOUR life is when she's struggling to keep her kids in the messy divorce (lol)


At Saturday, August 12, 2006 12:06:00 AM, Blogger MQ said...

Ok, breeeeaaaathe. :)

Ditto on shrig - hope I never piss you off ;P

That Walmart scene is AWESOME!

At Saturday, August 12, 2006 1:00:00 AM, Blogger kat said...

and it's these women that have tied up good men all over the place so that functional singletons like me just sit back and shake our heads at the injust skiziness of it all.

and she doesn't have a high school diploma? she must give really good head or have been a nice trophy wife initially or something. i'm just trying to give some benefit of doubt to this circumstance. gah.

At Saturday, August 12, 2006 1:21:00 AM, Blogger Annie Drogynous said...

I can't tell if you're more angry at her for her stupidity, misbehaving kids, her affair, her dye job and/or husband for being stupid enough to marry and breed with her. Or would that be all of the above?!

She sounds like a winner all the way around.

At Saturday, August 12, 2006 1:22:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Les - Yeah, I guess she does, but I had always had it in my head that they at least had a sweet disposition if they were stupid - you know LOL


Elle - LOL - a little to blunt maybe? ...NAH!!!!

Stinky - You said it!!!

Jennster - So are you! You're crazier than I am, and that's saying something here. LOL

BELLA!! - I'm so happy that you're back! Quick, go blog me a story, I need my fix. LOL ..and I'm not sure if the kids were in the car or not, I was to busy picking my jaw up off the ground. LOL

At Saturday, August 12, 2006 1:29:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Happy Kat - I shot you an email.

Pippa - Thanks. I was a bit upset when I wrote it. LOL

MQ - I just couldn't believe it - WALMART!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Kat - I don't know if she has her diploma - I meant that she struck me as being to stupid to have one. I mean, after all, she could have blown the staff to get a passing grade. LOL

Blair - I feel sorry for the kids - no doubt, but I don't like the behavior. Of course they're not going to correct themselves, what kid would?

I'd have to say, she's a crappy human being in general and I feel safe in saying she's a waste of skin.

At Saturday, August 12, 2006 1:50:00 AM, Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Kissing another man? In the Wal-Mart parking lot? Yikes. Not good. Not good at all.

At Saturday, August 12, 2006 3:30:00 AM, Anonymous starbender said...

Oh, I just hate people that don't punish their children! Makes ya just wanna line 'em up and smack 'em down!

At Saturday, August 12, 2006 1:19:00 PM, Blogger Alice in Wonderbread said...



At Saturday, August 12, 2006 2:46:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

Just goes to show that you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you cant take the tailer park out of the girl.

Sounds like you need to borrow the services of Guido and Vinnie for a day, to "explain" certain things to the woman...

Dont you just "love" crappy people. Sounds similar to my adventures at the playground of McDonalds....except the slut part.

At Saturday, August 12, 2006 5:34:00 PM, Blogger Samantha said...

Fantastic rant! And green highlights? Ewwwww. I hate it when people just ignore their kids like that, and I bet she would get so high and mighty if someone else tried to tell them off.

At Saturday, August 12, 2006 6:41:00 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

making out in the walmart parking lot? lordy, that is just beyond wrong!

At Saturday, August 12, 2006 6:55:00 PM, Blogger Me said...

Making out at Walmart.
What is it about Walmart that attracts making out.
Blonde turning green.
I can almost picture it.

At Sunday, August 13, 2006 5:26:00 PM, Blogger hautemama said...

So it's true about Walmart--that people with low IQ's shop there! LOL knew it. What a HO.

(I recently blogged about Walmart if anyone wants to read about it)

At Sunday, August 13, 2006 6:34:00 PM, Blogger Attila The Mom said...

Good Lord, who is this woman and what is the backstory?

At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 1:00:00 PM, Blogger Spill The Beans said...

Trouble - It's okay - you can love me - my hubby will like that.LOL

Yeah, my boyfriend says he'd like that, too. ;)

At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 2:15:00 PM, Blogger Rainman said...

The problem as I see it is the stupid bitch will get caught. Then he will divorce her and she will get 90% of the shit. He will also end up paying child support and Alimony to boot.
Go punch the stupid C%&# in the nose for me would you.

At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 7:53:00 PM, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Remind me never to get on your bad side.

At Thursday, August 17, 2006 1:04:00 AM, Blogger Sven said...

"Get the fuck out of my office. You condescending little bitch. If you knew how badly I wanted to smack you right now, you'd run for the hills."

If I had a nickel for everytime I said that...


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