Dear Little Miss Dumb Shit,

Get the fuck out of my office. You condescending little bitch. If you knew how badly I wanted to smack you right now, you'd run for the hills.

I'm not even a little bit interested in the "all oak" steps in you house that lead up from the basement. I don't give a shit that all rooms in your home have ceiling fans. I give a flying fuck that you have hardwood floors in the kitchen.

You have two children who are spoiled little brats, and even though I have said something to YOU and to THEM, you still do not correct them. You ignore them, so much more focused on your shiny new house than their behavior. Never mind the fact that they are climbing up my filing cabinets and could be crushed if one came down on top of him. I have told them both, the youngest one 3 times, to get down.

Your husband is a nice guy. Why in the hell he would want to be married to you - I have no idea. You're a materialistic bitch who isn't even remotely interested in raising your kids and you screw around on your husband. I saw you - you fuckin whore. I had to go into town late one day last week and there you making out with some guy in the parking lot. IN THE PARKING LOT AT WALMART!!!! Could you have picked a more public place?

If you were even partially human, I would be happy about your new home with you. I would ooh and aah and talk about all those features you are so obviously obsessed about and offer your kids some candy - but I won't.

You are a sub-human, sub-mother, sub-wife bitch and I would love to jack your jaw just one time. And let's not forget the fact that you really are dumb. I'm not kidding. You're fucking dumb. Dumb in away that says that you couldn't finish high school and had to drop out because the "How NOT To Break Your Crayons" class was to complex for you.

...and just incase you didn't notice, that hair that you keep flipping...yeah, your blond highlights have turned green hon. Go get that shit fixed.