Friday, July 21, 2006

The Dumb Show

With your host - Nikki The Not So Great.

Good morning everyone. I'm your host, Nikki the Not So Great. (sedate sound track applause)

Today I'm going to take you on a ride, a journey if you will, thru the random stuff in my life.

We're going to start with the really good news - because we all need some of that from time to time - even if it's not our own. (fake smile, hands folded primly in lap)

Today, Charles and I became considerably more caught up on our bills.(wild sound track applause) It's a really big mile marker for us. We haven't been this close to being all caught up since we moved into our house a few years ago. My Slave (aka - hubby) got a really wonderful raise and we have barely avoided bankruptcy - which we were going to have to file next month.

We are both tickled that we no longer have people who want to turn off our power and our car insurance coverage is uninterrupted. Also, the people who wanted to take us to court now love us and have offered to have our children (read: extend our credit). There are also several people out there who no longer want to sue us - which just pleases us to no end. (It has nothing to do with the threats that I ~ahem~ someone called into them)

My hubby and I would like to take this opportunity to make a sacrificial offering of a spider (because we all know I hate them and will take any opportunity to kill them). May our credit get increasingly better from here on out - somebody please take this piece of shit score that I have now, cause I couldn't finance a candy bar at this point.

(Camera Switch)

In other news. . .

It appears that we may actually save money on our child care bill. We currently pay WAY TO MUCH every two weeks and several times I have almost broken down and wept while writing out the check. Today - your ever vigilant investigative reporter - has a hot lead into QUALITY childcare at half that price. Yes, HALF that price. (awed gasps from audience)

Let us take a moment and kill another spider for the sacrificial offering.

I hope I get that warm fuzzy in this situation that is sooo important to have. Let's sacrifice another spider just to be sure. (Kill the bastards! Kill the bastards!)

Now to you Mike.

(camera switch)


(camera switch)

That was great. Thanks for that captivating report Mike - go take more vicodin.

This is Nikki The Not So Great, thanks for tuning in and please leave a tip (of the money kind) on your way out.

Ticker Tape: I'll be gone for the weekend. I'm picking up my daughter from the HIL. I catch up with everyone when I get back.

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At Friday, July 21, 2006 3:58:00 PM, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Dude. Money sucks.

But I'm glad you're getting ahead. 'Atta girl!

At Friday, July 21, 2006 4:25:00 PM, Blogger Pendullum said...

You know I am so sick of singing 'Even though we ain't got money...'
It is amazing how in debt one can be for just breathing... as I can not think of what else there is to cut... Except maybe a kidney or something like that!

At Friday, July 21, 2006 4:38:00 PM, Blogger jennster said...

money always sucks when you don;t have enough. :(

At Friday, July 21, 2006 5:07:00 PM, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Sacrificing spiders just means you have more flies to worry about. I'd sacrifice mosquitoes instead.

At Friday, July 21, 2006 5:18:00 PM, Blogger The Poodle's Friend said...

Does sacrificing spiders mean that you actually have to touch them? Because, ew.

At Friday, July 21, 2006 5:29:00 PM, Blogger Kevin Charnas said...

Well, I'm glad that things are looking better financially, however...WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP FUCKING KILLING INNOCENT SPIDERS??? Can't you just make an offerring with some dead leaves or something or like, bake a cake and burn it? DAMN IT!!! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HAIR OUT!

At Friday, July 21, 2006 5:31:00 PM, Blogger Elle*Bee said...

Congrats on your improved $ situation. I hope your childcare situation works out, too.

At Friday, July 21, 2006 6:40:00 PM, Blogger kat said...

ah, i like giggling. i especially like nikki-giggling. it's loverly.

oh, an i also like knowing tht i'm not the only one who can't afford to even care what the price of tea in china is.

At Friday, July 21, 2006 7:26:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

Yea! Good for you.

Although reading that you make me feel ALL so much better. We have a bit of debt, but nothing unmanagable, and are bills are paid If I just can get little miss worry wart to stop worrying so much.

Thank you! And of course, congrats and may fortune continue smiling on you....(as opposed to murphy getting ahold of you, again).

Money doesnt suck. Its the lack there of that does....

At Friday, July 21, 2006 10:49:00 PM, Blogger Alcluith said...

Glad you liked the flowers :-) Maybe what you need is a spider hoover:!20455
They're very handy...

At Saturday, July 22, 2006 9:09:00 AM, Blogger St Jude said...

LOL. You need to get a grip on this spider thing.

Good to hear that things are looking up. Have a good weekend.

At Saturday, July 22, 2006 9:39:00 AM, Anonymous nikki said...

i now have this image of a little spider sacraficial table in my head and people doing a tribal dance around it before they kill the beast. granted this image takes place in cartoon because everything is more interesting that way.

At Saturday, July 22, 2006 11:25:00 AM, Blogger MeanieMe said...

ooohhhh child care at half the cost ANDDDDD youre making more money ANDDDDDDDD no one wants to sue you now? I wanna be you!

At Saturday, July 22, 2006 11:56:00 AM, Blogger Annie Drogynous said...

*wild round of applause*

And in your honor, I destroyed a mammoth of a spider this morning, after accidentally getting caught in it's equally mammoth web. I, too, despise spiders to no end.

At Saturday, July 22, 2006 6:31:00 PM, Blogger Superstar said...

SOMEONE has been waatching OPRAH!!!!! LOL :o)
I know it was because you were stuck at home with the kidos!!! LOL ;o)
She had those episodes of "debit Diet" and WHEEEWWWWEEEE!!!! I honestly LEARNED how to negotiate w/ the creditors and get my $$$ back to were I was MANAGING it vs. having NONE to manage. ;o)
SHOCKING really.

Congrads on the $$$ diet. Isn't it nice to see PROGRESS???? LOL ;o)
Good luck w/ the HIL
~waving vodka/redbull roadsoda infront of her~
~RX of vicodine(wench lent it to me...I am passing it on~
~call me in the AM! wait...PM!~

At Saturday, July 22, 2006 7:06:00 PM, Blogger parnellpr said...

kill all the spiders you want...... btw i sign pippa as that is a nickname, a shortened version of my proper name (in my blog title)

At Saturday, July 22, 2006 8:23:00 PM, Blogger Farm Girl said...

Money stuff sucks. We have so much credit card debt would could choke a horse. I am hoping to get things somewhat resolved next year.

At Sunday, July 23, 2006 3:17:00 AM, Blogger Mel said...

Are you telling me there's life after debt? Because I'm telling you, we're so broke we can't even pay a compliment over here.
(Okay, just one - you done good. Congrats on getting out from under!)

At Sunday, July 23, 2006 12:16:00 PM, Blogger Attila The Mom said...

I'm going to go hide until you get out of the "Kill the Bastards" phase....

At Sunday, July 23, 2006 4:32:00 PM, Blogger kim said...

girly you crack me up ... are you home? im lookin for you :)

At Sunday, July 23, 2006 8:40:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Mama - Thanks! I'm lovin it. We are still far from completely caught up, but definate improvement has been made.

Pendullum - Curse you for putting this song in my head. I was singing it all weekend. LOL

Jennster- You said it.

Kim - Deet is a wonderful thing. It may not kill them, but it keeps them off me and my family so I'm happy with it. It does not however, repell icky spiders.

TPF - NO WAY! Just squishing them with your shoe is fine. All sacrifices are accepted. LOL

Kevin - When I try to bake a cake, I do burn it. LOL It's not an acceptable sacrifice though.

Elle - Thanks, I've got my fingers crossed.

Kat - I be a po mo fo. Don't swear it.

Carm - we would have been fine, but Superbaby was born and went to NICU and then had some other health issues, and then he had surgery and then more health issues and then Lauren got admitted to the hospital, and then Charles was in the hospital - all in the last 7 months of last year. We had saved and 401k'd and invested etc, but the medical bills ate it all up, and we still have several thousand more looking at us. Medical did cover a large chunk, but we'll be wading through the bills for sometime to come. If everyone had been fine, we wouldn't have had any problems.

Alcuith - How nice you stuck your head in the door and said hello. It's good to hear your "voice" - and I'm gonna take a look at the spider hoover do-dad.

St Jude - Yeah, I have a spider phobia, I'm not ashamed. I just came in from mowing the lawn and I killed about 10 wolf spiders. I don't mind little nonpoisonous spiders all that much, but the wolf spiders around my house get about as big as the palm of my hand, and I'm not exaggerating. It creaps me out. LOL

At Sunday, July 23, 2006 9:22:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Nikki - You should see the miniture sacrificial knife...

Meanie - no you don't. Trust me when I say this. You would then have to deal with the HIL LOL

Blair - Aren't they just ICKY? I had a humongus spider make a web between my sliding glass door and the sliding screen door and he would hang out in the middle of if - just a big nasty spider in the middle of my door. ICK.

Superstar - Actually no, I don't watch Oprah, or really any TV. If it's on, it's on the learning channel, Discovery Channel, National geographic Exlporer, Weather Channel, History Channel. Anything else, No thanks. LOL I would like for you to read a book though - Rich Dad, Poor Dad. It really puts how we look at finances into perspective.

Pippa - Thanks for that - I was going Bonkers (I know, you couldn't tell the difference right?)

Les - Those credit cards will definately get you. That's not our problem though, I almost wish it were.

Mel - I'm that kinda broke myself - join the club.

Attila - Do I have to get out of that phase? Can't I just stay in it forever? Please...pretty please...with a cherry on top...and a miniture guilitine?

Kim - Yeah, I'm home. This is a different computer, I'll down load the messenger thing and get on the chat later on tonight. If you don't see me, it's cause this computer sucks ass.

At Monday, July 24, 2006 7:05:00 AM, Blogger Samantha said...

I do enjoy sacrificing spiders :)

At Monday, July 24, 2006 7:19:00 AM, Blogger Rainman said...

Glad to hear things are turning around for you guys. Money stuff sucks and never seems to go away.

BTW I'm sending the mechanical spider your way as a gift.

At Monday, July 24, 2006 7:50:00 AM, Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

You're not really away for the weekend, are you? You're in jail for robbing that damn bank! I saw you on the news and those spiders are in your cell aren't the? AREN'T THEY?!?!
Now we gotta raise bail money....again.

At Monday, July 24, 2006 12:09:00 PM, Blogger Misha said...

You know you've ben hooking on the side with all your free time. Hooking in DC is quite lucrative - just ask Monica Lewinsky. :)

Isn't it amazing how much daycare costs? Before my ex and I had kids, we had a few hundred dollars a month left over (it was nice when half our salaries were tax-free with VHA/BAH/BAS, wasn't it? Ah the good ol' days.) but then after I had Lauren, I was wondering where the heck all the money went and then realized, "Oh yeah! Daycare is as much as a car payment." And now? Daycare is as much as a mortgage.
Eee gads.

But now both of mine will be in school full time starting this school year, so it will just be after-care now. Yay!

At Monday, July 24, 2006 12:12:00 PM, Blogger Misha said...

You know you've ben hooking on the side with all your free time. Hooking in DC is quite lucrative - just ask Monica Lewinsky. :)

Isn't it amazing how much daycare costs? Before my ex and I had kids, we had a few hundred dollars a month left over (it was nice when half our salaries were tax-free with VHA/BAH/BAS, wasn't it? Ah the good ol' days.) but then after I had Lauren, I was wondering where the heck all the money went and then realized, "Oh yeah! Daycare is as much as a car payment." And now? Daycare is as much as a mortgage.
Eee gads.

But now both of mine will be in school full time starting this school year, so it will just be after-care now. Yay!

And people STILL ask me if I'm ever going to have more kids. Not unless they friggin' pay ME - I'm not getting any younger and daycare ain't getting any cheaper.

I will join you in your spider sacrifices, tout suite. Not because I hate spiders, but because I like to dance naked. heehee

At Monday, July 24, 2006 1:37:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Samantha - I shall make you the sacraficial priestess LOL

Rainman - Don't make me hurt you.

Christian - SSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!! GAH! Listen chickie, we need to talk. Next time you know where I'm at, don't say anything hmmmm? (as I'm taken away in hand cuffs)

Misha - My childcare is more than my mtg. How depressing is that shit?

At Monday, July 24, 2006 6:06:00 PM, Blogger Dirty Birdie said...

Isn't it a wonderful feeling to get a bill in the mail and not have to tape it to the dart board to see which ones you pay and which ones you stretch?

Congrats that's a big weight off your shoulders!!

At Monday, July 24, 2006 7:07:00 PM, Blogger parnellpr said...

how's the spider killing going?

At Monday, July 24, 2006 10:34:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

Not only is daycare expensive, but I'm sure you all looked into pre-school? Holy crap, talk about another car payment in some cases....

At Tuesday, July 25, 2006 11:19:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

DIRTY BIRDIE????? - LMAO! and thanks. I generally don't use the dart method. I hold all my bills in one hand and throw them up in the air. Which ever ones land on the table are the ones that get paid. LOL

Parnell - Not spider killing...SACRIFICING LOL and it's going pretty well. (snicker)

Carm - you are very right. The expense is out of this world. Most facilities here have pre-school/daycare combined. They should have something like that up that way.

At Tuesday, July 25, 2006 1:12:00 PM, Blogger Gratis said...

I tried to post this yesterday but Blogger didn't like me.*sob*

Anyway, Yay! for catching up on your bills. That is awesome. I sacrificed a spider, but you didn't know because, well, Blogger was down.

*Ahem* Sorry about the breakdown. At any rate we just got upped our credit debt by paying off those price gougers Dominion Gas. How do you get out from under that? Crazy.

Good on ya, though.

At Tuesday, July 25, 2006 1:40:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Gratis - like the picture - kinda freaky with only one eye peaking at me, but I still like it.

Charles and I are going to get one of those wood burning furnices that install outside but will heat all the hot water yada yada yada. His uncle got one and it cut his electic bill somewhere between one half and two thirds. We don't have to pay for wood - we've got our own.

It's not cheap in install but it will pay for itself in a few years, especially if power and gas and all that crap keep going up at this rate.


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