Sunday, August 06, 2006


I'm not a movie goer but I went with Lauren today to the movies. We had hoped to see Garfield 2 but no such luck.

Instead, we saw Barnyard. Yes BARNYARD.

This would have been a great movie if I was 2. Alas, I am 32 and it just didn't do it for me. I fell asleep in the movie theatre. Yes, I fell asleep. I'm not exactly the type you want to take to the movies unless there's explosions and shit, especially if the movie we go to includes cartoon animated cows with thumbs. Yes, that's right cows with THUMBS.

After the movie, Lauren and I went and got school supplies and I bought a new hairdryer and then we came home, where I again, went to sleep. (sad isn't it, that I can still be worn out and still think about my hair)

I even slept in this morning. I didn't wake up until 11! I never sleep that late. The latest I can pull off is 8am and then I just feel drained because I slept so long, but today, I slept until 11, cat napped in the movie theatre and went directly to bed when we got home.

I woke up at midnight and was greeted with the scariest kitchen ever. Seems hubby had a hard time holding it together watching little man all day, then having both kids while I was sleeping, and to top it all off, he had to cook dinner too. My kitchen looks like hell detoured thru it. The microwave looks like something exploded in it and I'm considering just throwing the damn thing away instead of having to actually clean it. We don't have a power tool that is that heavy duty.

I'm scared to go back in there. There's empty soda cans, plastic wrapping from something or other, wads of paper towel, dirty pots stacked 3 high and the floor looks like someone dropped some green beans and did the river dance on top of 'em. I'm not even going to talk about how the trash can...never mind.

The living room doesn't look much better. The only thing I can say for it - there doesn't seem to be any green beans on the floor - but everything else is. It would appear that Charles couldn't muster the energy to tidy up in there. Toys are strown from here to there and two of the blinds have broken slats - baby head high. I'm guessing that Little Man wanted to look out the window - what do you think?

The Laundry Room smells funny. I don't know what happened, I'm not going to ask cause I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. I'll just wash whatever that is in the laundry basket and shut up about it. I'm pretty sure though, that I didn't wear that shirt that's sitting on top of the washing machine today and now there's a big pink stain on it. I have no idea what that is. It's kind-a scary to be honest because I can't think of a thing that we have in the house that would leave a big PINK stain. It doesn't look like washed out blood.

The dining room. OY. The most I can say for it is that it's still there - and so are all the school supplies I bought. Tablets and pencils and crayons and glue and new book bag all over everywhere. I can't see the top of the table - and it's not because I'm blind - though, I'm wishing I was at the moment.

The dog won't seem to leave me alone. He keeps pawing at my leg and whining. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was scared of something.

The cats have all been giving me accusitory looks and I'm not quite sure what I did. Maybe they think that they are the only ones who should get that much sleep in one day. I dunno. But I'm watching them, AND my ankles just in case.

I've peaked in on the baby, and he seems to have all his body parts and isn't covered in poo and/or vomit and smells like he had a bath. I haven't gone into his bathroom yet because I'm scared what I might find.

Lauren is sleeping peacefully - TV blaring at full volume and candy wrappers on her floor. It's painfully obvious, from when I went to kiss her cheek, that daddy didn't make her brush her teeth before going to bed. I'll shut up about that too though, because she seems to have had a bath - I think.

Charles is asleep in the recliner in a position that looks like someone knocked him out cold and he just happened to land on the recliner. There are dark circles under his eyes and drool is dribbling down his chin. Yeah, he's sexy.

Me? I'm hiding in the computer room, delaying the inevitable of cleaning up. I'm using the excuse that it's late - or early - and I don't want to wake anyone up. Yeah, I don't want to wake anyone up. That's my story. I'm using that one.

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At Sunday, August 06, 2006 8:10:00 AM, Blogger Annie Drogynous said...

Lol. I got all nervous reading about your messy house. I hate tidying up.

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 10:37:00 AM, Blogger Sayre said...

Did my eyes decieve me (in watching the trailers) that the bull has teats???? Anatomical correctness must not be a requirement of cartoon world, but to mix the genders up that way - well that's gotta be confusing to the kiddos at the very least. While not thoroughly versed in male/female, they do know who gets which set...

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 11:26:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Blair - that makes two of us, but I do feel so much better when it's clean.

Sayre - Yes the bulls have teats. That tripped me out, but the THUMBS thing...

You know I can go with the flow and let the bulls have teats, kinda clue the kiddies in that it's a cow, but NO cows of either sex have THUMBS. That was kinda scary to me. LOL

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 11:52:00 AM, Blogger Attila The Mom said...

But at least you got to see Barnyard!!! LOL

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 12:11:00 PM, Blogger Stinkypaw said...

Sometime we just need to catch some zzz's anywhere we can, and the weird thing though is that the world keeps going and things tend to get messy... I hate that part!

Sounds like you'll have a fun filled day ahead of you! It's a good thing you slept so much! ;-)

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 1:14:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Attila - I was riveted LOL

Stinky - Don't you ever wish that you could just have a big pause button. LOL

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 3:03:00 PM, Blogger Los said...

I'm guessing the pink stain might be Pepto? Sounds like Charles had a hectic day.

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 6:06:00 PM, Blogger parnellpr said...

OY! And the husbands not even up to have a therapeutic scream at (lol).

I see you have deleted the posts to do with the little problem you had recently. Hope that all was ok in the end.

BTW What is Barnyard, haven't heard of that one yet.

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 7:54:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Los - no pepto in the house. Let me know what you come up with next. I still haven't figured it out.

Parnell - Barnyard is an animated cartoon movie about a barnyard full of animals and their nemesis - the coyoties. BORING

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 8:18:00 PM, Blogger Shrig said...

I think I figured out why your so tired...that much cleaning would make Mary Poppins hit the sack real fast.

Best of luck cleaning. :)

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 8:22:00 PM, Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

Yes, the dark side of motherhood. It's not the kids, it's the cleaning. If you ignored the mess, would Charles eventually take care of it?

I know a couple whose small dog shat in their bedroom and neither of them wanted to deal, so they walked around it for several days until it fossilized. Finally, someone dropped a cowboy hat over it, which became a permanent part of the decor.

At Sunday, August 06, 2006 10:44:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Shrig - Welcome! Please send Mary Poppins...NOW. LOL

Heart - Welcome! Would Charles take care of the mess??? Unfortunately no - he would just wait until I flipped out and started cleaning. He's a gentleman that way. LOL

At Monday, August 07, 2006 1:05:00 AM, Blogger kat said...

i could have sworn that i responded to this post but evidently decided that i was way too tired to be coherent and went off to take a nap. yay sleeping beauties we are. as for your house...ugh...must admit that mine is rather similar with the exceptions of my kitchen being cleen and that i have no one else to blame the mess on. this is why i need to get married. someone to blame. i can't believe i never thought of that before.

At Monday, August 07, 2006 3:17:00 AM, Blogger St Jude said...

Oh forget Mary Poppins sweetie, I find those lovely eye masks you get on planes work every time.

At Monday, August 07, 2006 4:48:00 AM, Blogger The Poodle's Friend said...

Ha! When I cook, my brother says the aftermath looks like a CSI set. What can I say, I hate cleaning up too!

At Monday, August 07, 2006 7:57:00 AM, Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

Where the hell is Samantha Stevens when you need her ass? Hmm??

I leave blogging for the weekend and you allow a MAN to wreck your domestic domain. Have I not taught you better? *hands on hips, tapping foot*

At Monday, August 07, 2006 9:06:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Kat - yes, you're right. BLAME THE MAN, BLAME THE MAN. LOL

St Jude - LOL - but would it have made the smell in the laundry room go away?

TPF - LOL you sound like Charles, he cooks GREAT, but will dirty all the dishes in the house. I hate having to clean up after him. Repeated attempts to train him to clean as he goes have failed.

Christina - *hangs head* I'm sorry, I'll do better next time. *vomits*

At Monday, August 07, 2006 11:03:00 AM, Blogger carmachu said...

Be glad you didnt have to take your kids to see DOug movie a couple years back. Talk about boring. I left my wife in teh movie theatre with her nephews to play video games it was so bad.

As for the mess: Its guys way of making sure you never leave them with housework and kids along again ever....What, you didnt know our special tricks?

At Monday, August 07, 2006 11:05:00 AM, Blogger Spill The Beans said...

OMG, I feel yah, my house is TRASHED. I just had a long phone call with bf this morning telling him how much I would worship the ground he walks on if he tidies up a bit before I come home, because in my f'ed up hungover condition, it's not pretty. I'm not sure i can hang.

At Monday, August 07, 2006 12:00:00 PM, Blogger Panacea said...

You house scarily sounds like my bedroom, which reminds me that I have a lot of clearing up to do before my mum gets home from work! :)

At Monday, August 07, 2006 12:02:00 PM, Blogger Hal said...

Hi Nikki,

Moments ago, you just commented on my blog, and thank you for that. Since it would be rude of me not to return the favor, here I am.

From what you describe here, it sounds like you could give me a run for my money, and I could give Oscar Madison a run for his money! lol

At Monday, August 07, 2006 12:42:00 PM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Okay, I have just read a whole bunch of stuff I missed of yours while I was gone (on my reader) and I'm all "HOLY SWEAR, SWEAR, SWEAR!!!

At Monday, August 07, 2006 2:14:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Carm - I should have known he was up to something. LOL

Trouble - Don't worry, you'll be fine. next time, just remember to take Tylenol BEFORE you start drinking. LOL

Pan - your room looks like my house, and your mom sees it - you.will.die. Get to cleaning.

Hal - Welcome! Thanks for leaving a comment, I always love to hear from everyone, but don't feel that you have to. I have a lot of lurkers who only check in everyonce in a while, and that's cool with me...and could you clean the microwave for me? I left that for last. LOL

Joy - for someone who claims to love to cuss, you never do. LOL
On your reader? What am I missing?

At Monday, August 07, 2006 6:33:00 PM, Blogger Tim said...

Is Barnyard the one with male cows that have udders? Blimey - they've seriously got issues.

Garfield 2 was awesome! Although over here in Britland they stripped it of its super subtitle 'A tale of two kitties,' which was not awesome.

At Monday, August 07, 2006 7:06:00 PM, Blogger Kevin Charnas said...

Can't you just throw everything out and start over?

At Wednesday, August 09, 2006 8:39:00 AM, Blogger Girl In Her Underwear said...

Ha ha! The green beans on the floor really got me. I'm just impressed he gave the kids a bath. Score 1 for him. Wait, I'm impressed he stayed alone with kids at all! My husband is too chicken to keep the kids for long, and the house is still a wreck when I return.

At Wednesday, August 09, 2006 10:56:00 AM, Blogger kim said...

lmao nikki youre nuts ! I go away for the weekend and youre consorting with barnyard animals and Od'in on sleep
my solution is im gonna move - to hell with cleaning :)

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