Tuesday, July 18, 2006

CURSE YOU GERM GODS!!!!!!!

We all know that here in the land of Nikki, all is not well with the world.

I'm friggin sick. I blame this entirely on that chick at the drive thru window at Dairy Queen. No, she didn't cough and hack on my food and didn't have that sore through rasp. I'll tell you what she did. SHE WAS NICE TO ME.

Now, I just heard your collective breath intake. Calm yourselves. It gets even more shocking. SHE SMILED AT ME. Yes, that's right. That's enough to have to make you fan yourselves vigorously, but I'm not done. Are you ready for this next part - brace yourselves. SHE THANKED ME FOR STOPPING BY AND WISHED ME A NICE DAY. HOLY FRESH FRENCH FRIES BATMAN!

I would like to say at this point that I thanked her and wished her a good day in return, or even that I can up with some sort of witty response. Sadly, I didn't. All of this courtesy at one time from a fast food joint was so deeply shocking to me that I briefly went catatonic and passed out. I awoke outside of my car laying on the pavement with an EMT kneeling over me using the chest paddles because my heart had stopped. It seems my body just couldn't take the shock.

I gave a quick thanks to the underwear Gods that I was wearing my new black bra and I explained what had happened. They didn't believe me - and really can you blame them? Who would believe such a wild and crazy story. I mean really, how often do we get treated with plain ol' courtesy these days - especially from a teenager hanging out the window at a fast food joint?

I hear you out there. "Nikki, give me a break. This story is ridiculous" That's true, but I will ask you a question.

IS IT ANY MORE RIDICULOUS THAN SUFFERING FROM A COLD WHEN THE DAMN HEAT INDEX IS 110 DEGREES OUTSIDE?

I think not.

So I'm sticking with my ridiculous and rather unimaginative story. Besides, it sounds a lot better than saying "I should have sanitized my desk and washed my hands better after the guy with a cold came into my office last week."

Damn it.

Labels:

30 Comments:

At Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:12:00 PM, Blogger 34quinn said...

LOL..great post!!!! ( love the part about the bra)( did your panties match ?).

I think if you were able to go to dairy queen and get a young person to actually be it is very imprssive.....

However, I am not impressed that a young person was able to be that way......I am impressed that they were able to be that way while WORKING THERE.

dairy queen in canada employs mostly the youngest of teens. They are run off their feet seriously, and seldom have an adult on site to keep things running properly.

They are left to deal with tons of customers and serving them treats that literally melt before their eyes when business is booming.

I feel for those kids, especially when for many it is their very first job and first time being on the other side of the fence. With the pace they have to keep up with all the time it is extremely high stress for such young people.

I think there are great kids wanting jobs out there but not alot of really good guidance for them and encouragement. Most are only seen by the management when things go badly not when they are doing their jobs well and then some.

If you ever go there again and see her, take a minute and tell her what a fabulous job she did making your day and in doing so make hers better too.

p.s. sorry I am long winded, but I always am .LOL>

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 1:20:00 AM, Blogger kat said...

my god i want an oreo blizzard. i've wanted one for about 3 months now and know of no dairy queen.

i'm sorry that you're sick, babe. that sucks ass.

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 3:40:00 AM, Blogger St Jude said...

I love the story LOL. Remember lots of fluids, (whiskey and gin work well), I hope you're feeling better soon.

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 3:40:00 AM, Blogger Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

As a renowned practitioner in the spread of infectious diseases, I can inform you Nikki that although it may be 200 in the shade, them nasty bugs are still out there. The only reason we get more colds in winter is because we spend more time cooped up together.

If you look at say, meningitis, it is more of a problem in dry weather because the mucous linings of your nose and throat dry up and don't act as such an effective barrier.

The solution I propose goes like this (though please remember that I am not medically qualified and cannot, therefore, be sued if it all goes horribly wrong):

1) Move to the middle of nowhere
2) Live in a hermetically sealed bubble with an airlock and several air filters
3) Do not allow children any closer than 6 feet, and only if they have been sprayed from head to foot with disinfectant spray
4) Drink beer. Not only will this keep your bucchal linings nice and moist but you will be provided with vitamins and a sense of relaxation - necessary for living in isolation.

Here to help and get well soon

Joe

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 7:19:00 AM, Blogger carmachu said...

Ah ha. Apparantly your husband's plan of keeping you off balance, by having somone at DQ be nice to you and spike your food is working.

Its hard to get uneven again when your sick........

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 8:26:00 AM, Blogger Anna said...

Feel better soon!!

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 9:13:00 AM, Blogger Me said...

Yes black bra is always a safe bet. My dear Nikki, your stories, though are never never unimaginative, you hillarious crazy one, you.
What about chicken soup? Will that help?

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 9:27:00 AM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Feel better Nikki.

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 9:31:00 AM, Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

OOoo I like how St. Jude thinks and listen to Dr. Joe. A man of wisdom and liquor. I wrote his prescription down for future reference.

Get better, girl!
~mumbles, but still don't breathe on me, sickie, as she sprays Lysol~

=)

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 10:12:00 AM, Blogger The Poodle's Friend said...

Oh, EW. I hate germs. Some random person walks into your personal space and lo and behold, you have a cold. I wish all germs could just drop dead. Including the ones that are making you sick. Get well soon!
I liked the drive through story. We don't have drive throughs in Milan. Isn't that such a pity?

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 10:26:00 AM, Anonymous Michele said...

I have to say, if some angst ridden teenager in a shit first job was that nice to me - I may just pass out too!

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 11:37:00 AM, Blogger Rainman said...

So you wernt wearing any panties were you?

I do shit loads of Vitamin C and drink lots of liquids when I'm sick or even feeling a cold coming on. Makes me feel better pretty much the next day.

Hope you feel better soon. Make hubby wait on you and do all the house BS while your sick.


And I think i speak for everyone when I say MMMMMMMMMM DQ!

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 12:05:00 PM, Blogger Sven said...

The story sounds plausible to me.

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 12:37:00 PM, Blogger Brandi said...

Ummm....Dairy Queen....must get a blizzard....
You had me a Dairy Queen....

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 2:09:00 PM, Blogger Farm Girl said...

Not the niceness. Say it ain't so. I'm nasty enough today for all three of us so I've got you covered.

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 4:40:00 PM, Blogger Miss Keeks said...

Stupid people spreading germs. I think people should be encouraged to call in more!

And I've updated--just for you. Because you're sick. Feel better.

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 6:09:00 PM, Blogger Superstar said...

DQ???? Oh.my.God. I so want it!
[slapping hand]
I am not allowed until after the wedding...
*spritzing antibacterial hand stuff, and rubbing hands together*

Glad to see you are feeling better!

I am in denile and shock over the polite behavior of a teeny booper??? I don't beleive you.
[crosses arms}

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 6:46:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you are anything at all like me, she was nice because she was skurd. The ol' "if you don't behave I will rip your lips off" look is usually enough to ensure fast and friendly service. Heh.

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 6:46:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the by, that's me, Melanie, again. Stupid fucking Blogger!

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 6:53:00 PM, Blogger Kevin Charnas said...

that better not have been MY black bra that I lent you that I still have yet to see!

and let me guess...you were wearing the bra but no panties and mysteriously when you passed out your dress billowed up and over your head. I KNEW IT! I know your kind ANYWHERE!

hope you feel better muffin. :)

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 7:58:00 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

It's no more ridiculous a story than mine which is my daughter has caught a cold from the sick people on the internet.

Feel better!

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 9:30:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Quinn - mum's the word on my panties.((blush))

Kat - I got one of those last week. They have these new things out now called Cheese Quakes. It's a blizzard with small chunks of cheese cake in it. I don't think you could get anything that's worse for you, I got one of those last week too. LOL

St Jude - I'm a tequilla kind-of girl. Shots have been duely taken.

Dr Joe - Thank goodness you're here. RE: your prescription

1) I already live in the middle of nowhere.

2) Where can I get one of those?

3) I do that already

4) I hate beer. Will tequilla do?

Carm - Me thinks he schemes far above me sometimes. LOL

Anna - thanks.

Me - I'M HILARIOUSLY CRAZY? I read your blog sometimes twice a day - you know what I mean.

Joy - Thanks

Christina - (waves hand thru thick aresol mist and coughs) AAAHHHH! QUIT THAT! LYSOL WILL KILL MY CATS! (tackles you)

TPF - From what I hear, it's a good thing there are no drive thrus over there - Italians can't drive worth a darm - or so I hear.

Rain Man - (((BLUSH))) dude, don't ask me about my panties. (((blushing harder)))

Sven - (snicker)

Brandi - (homer simpson voice) mmmmmmm blizard

Les - thank goodness - some one needs to take up my slack since I've been out. LOL

Miss Keeks - you too.

 
At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 10:28:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Superstar - I know, shocking isn't it. I think she's an alien. LOL

Mel - OMG. I say skurd all the time. I also threaten to rip Lauren's lips off when we goof around. How weird that you said that.

Kevin - How'd you know about the dress thing? WERE YOU WATCHING ME???? YOU STALKER!

Kristin - it's really going around isn't it. I wish it would have skipped me. (sigh - cough)

 
At Thursday, July 20, 2006 1:07:00 AM, Blogger Stinkypaw said...

Isn't it a sad reflection of our society when we get winded when a teen (of all age groups) is polite, smiling and seemed to be enjoying his/her job?

Great post BTW - hope you're feeling better.

 
At Thursday, July 20, 2006 4:00:00 AM, Blogger kat said...

damn you, blizzard-eating woman!

feeling any better? i think i'm inheriting your cold.

 
At Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:33:00 AM, Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

*perk* You got a Blizzard?!?!? And get offffffffffffff me. Damn you and your snot.

 
At Thursday, July 20, 2006 9:02:00 AM, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Hope you feel better soon. There's something nasty going through my house and now that everyone's feeling better, I think I'm getting it. Of course.

 
At Thursday, July 20, 2006 9:42:00 AM, Blogger Pendullum said...

Hope you feel better soon...
and just exactly what meds are you on...
Dairy Queen, Black Bra having the paddles out so wne can just imagine some paramedic ripping your blouse open???
No mention of panties...
and a polite teen???
I suppose everyone has fantasies?
What are you on Nikki?
I think we all need some of that???

 
At Thursday, July 20, 2006 10:20:00 AM, Blogger happykat said...

shucks, Nickers....count your blessings...if that had been me, then I would have had on my granny panties and fallen in ABC gum.

Chicken soup, btw!

 
At Friday, July 21, 2006 4:22:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey what a great site keep up the work its excellent.
»

 

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