Thursday, March 08, 2007

Nikki's Pity Party - Come On In

I just spoke with my Mom a little while ago and I've gotten semi-depressed (it's just the PMS hormones I'm sure) so excuse me while I have my own little pity party and make myself feel all better.

I miss my mom. I just saw her, but I never really get to spend any time with her. We are never around each other long enough, in an environment that both of us are comfortable in, for us to be rested and at ease and we can just go do something, like go to the bookstore, or hand out our phone number to hot guys leaving the gym. You know, stuff that regular mother-daughter types do. She lives all the way out in NM and I'm here in VA and I miss the hell out of her.

I miss my brother - bitch that he is. He got back from Iraq in November and has now gotten out of the Army and started his civilian job. I've never met his son, my nephew (who is only a few months younger than my son) and I think that just sucks large amounts of ass. I don't have the money to go visit him, he doesn't have it to come visit me, and I fuckin' miss his sorry ass and I'm pissed at no one in particular that I haven't met his son yet. They're in TX.

These two are my only family (this of course doesn't take into account my own nuclear family) and we all live hundreds of miles away from each other, don't see each other with any regularity and I miss the times growing up when we would sit around the kitchen table and talk...even though that was rare for two teenagers ready to get the hell out of the house and their mother.

I want us to be able to see each other at least on the weekends...or once a month, or even once every couple of months - I'd be happy with that!...but I haven't seen my brother in a few years, and I just saw my mom for a couple of days, saw her for 1 day last year and before that she came to stay when Connor was sick, and I slept for most of her visit, and God only knows when I'll get to see her again.

I would really like to be able to go to mom and her husband's house, meet my brother and his wife and son there and all of us grown ups (or those in grown up bodies) to talk about something and nothing and let our kids play and cement familial bonds (though the children will have a harder time at it since they can't have beer. heh) and I would like to do this with some sort of regularity.

I miss my mom, I miss my brother, and I want to play with and get to know my nephew. Little Guy is growing up and I'm missing out.

I'm missing out.



At Thursday, March 08, 2007 6:10:00 PM, Blogger Sayre said...

It sucks to be so far away - especially when you actually ENJOY the company of your family. My family spread out, but comes together on a semi-regular basis at least once a year. Though this past Thanksgiving we ALL got together for the first time in 10 years. Is there a reason you can't be in Texas (or somewhere relatively near)? Sometimes it's worth it to just pick up and move.

I hope you feel better. Pity parties aren't much fun unless someone comes.

At Thursday, March 08, 2007 6:10:00 PM, Blogger Sayre said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At Thursday, March 08, 2007 7:43:00 PM, Blogger Chicky Pea said...

I'm sorry sweetie, that sucks! All my family is witin a 20 minute area of each other so I take them for granted, that they are always there. I hope some unexpected trip comes up where you can see your brother. ((HUG))

At Thursday, March 08, 2007 7:54:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You sure know how to make a person cry. ):
I miss you all and love you very much.

Aunt Debbie

At Thursday, March 08, 2007 8:28:00 PM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

I miss my mom too. She's coming in 10 days, but all I can think about is how quickly her visit will pass and how much I will miss her again.

At Thursday, March 08, 2007 10:12:00 PM, Anonymous quinn said...

Wow, nikki,,,,I wish I knew what any of that actually felt like...
It sounds wonderful. To honestly have such feeling of missing them.

I know that feeling only when it comes to my own hub and kids and that is it.

sooooo...I guess I could join your pitty party then and feel sorry for myself because I have never experienced having a parent or a family like you seem to have...

waaaa..pooor meeeeeeeeee...

seriously though, I think it is awesome that you have that and I hope you get your wish to see them more often somehow.

At Friday, March 09, 2007 5:17:00 AM, Blogger Wayne said...

Yep, I know all about the missing out on the nephews. I've only seen mine about 5 times and they're 14 and 12 now. :-(

At Friday, March 09, 2007 7:02:00 AM, Anonymous Annie Drogynous said...

I'm sorry to hear of your predicament. If gas prices weren't so outrageous again, I'd say go jump in your car and head west! I agree with's always the people who enjoy spending time with their family that can't.

Well, you can always try to sell some of the things your mom gave you so you can save for a trip!

At Friday, March 09, 2007 8:23:00 AM, Blogger Me said...

I am sorry Nikki - this sucks to be far away from your family. When I was growing up, I had a great-uncle I never met but who was adamant about keeping in touch with us. He called all the time and wrote letters and sent christmas gifs, so when I finally met him at 13, I knew enough of him to feel as if I knew him all my life.
So, even though you are not physically there with your nephew, I know that you will never miss you when you obviously care sooo much!
I hope you feel better. Hugs.

At Friday, March 09, 2007 9:03:00 AM, Anonymous nikki said...

i'll bring the ice cream to the pity party!

my father moved to north dakota before Aaron was born (to be with his girlfriend no less). he has only seen aaron 4 times. the sad part is that my dad is aaron's only surviving grandpa. it pisses me off so much that my son has to miss out on growing up with a grandpa.

i feel ya sister. what kind of ice cream do you want me to bring?

At Friday, March 09, 2007 11:00:00 AM, Blogger Jazz said...

I so know what you mean. Or at least I think I do, but I won't allow it to really happen. My two sisters are talking about moving to NC and I totally freaked on them. We've always been exteamly close and for them not to be within an hour away would kill me. When my sister lived in France for awhile I thought I'd die. And now that she has my niece I told her I'd kill her if she took her away from her cousins. That's just wrong. So yeah, call your brother and tell him he needs to move closer to you like now. Mom too! Families need to be close. lol. Even if they do drive you nuts that way. Okay I totally just rambled out my ass, sorry. haha.

At Friday, March 09, 2007 3:35:00 PM, Blogger Mel said...

I understand so well... I have two siblings, both of whose kids I've never met, who live in New Jersey and in Texas. It sucks.

At Saturday, March 10, 2007 11:48:00 AM, Blogger Marymurtz said...

Your post made me all homesick for my mom. But mostly for the mom I won't really ever have a chance to be around at all any more. She is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's or some sort of dementia. It sucks being so far away and what I would tell you is to move heaven and earth to spend time with family while you have the chance because before you know it, things change.

If you have an emergency fund for car repairs, etc., take some of it to travel to see loved ones. I've never regretted not getting new tires the way I regret not spending more time with my siblings and my mom.


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