Thursday, March 01, 2007

Moving Day

The trip to Georgia went well.

We got lots and lots of cool and expensive stuff we would never have been able to afford on our own. I would gladly post pictures for you so you could see my pretty new Thomasville leather furniture, but I've been to busy sitting on it naked, making farting sounds (real and imagined) and leaving ass prints on the cushions. (your welcome for that visual)

We drove back home on Saturday night, and got home about 5:30am. Super Kid decided that he didn't want to go back to sleep, so I stayed up with him after driving all night. Then Charles woke up about 10:30 (or more to the point, I woke him up) and he decided to move the truck (big moving truck - 16fter) around to the back of the house to get everything in thru the sliding glass doors...and THAT is where the problems started.

You see, when we were in Savannah, we spent the days outside in short sleeve shirts soaking up the sun (it did wonders for my psoriasis- practically cleared it up in just a couple of days) and enjoying the breeze. When we drove home, it was sleeting - there was a quarter inch on the ground when we pulled up the driveway...quite a change wouldn't you say.

By the time Charles emerged from the bedroom, we had an inch of snow on the ground on top of the sleet and more snow was expected.

Charles, with is deft maneuvering capabilities did his thing, and promptly got the moving truck stuck in the yard. I don't mean it was kind-a stuck, a little stuck, sorta stuck, can push it out with a firm breeze stuck, that bitch was plain stuck.

The 2 inches of ice that we had had 2 weeks ago had just melted a few days before and then the sleet and then the snow, but it wasn't cold enough to freeze the ground and that big ass truck SANK into my back yard - all 4 wheels, especially the back 2.

He tried backing it out, digging it out, putting boards underneath the back wheels to help it out and he even kicked it a few time and cursed at it in a strange tongue to try and motivate it out...but nothing worked. The only options left to use were:

1 - call towing company to come and pull it out

2 - use his work truck to try and pull it out.

We chose option 2.


You've seen those white work vans around haven't you? That's Charles' work truck.
Imagine if you will, a puny,pasty white van pitted against a 16ft Budget rental moving van loaded with: a fridge, a washer and dryer, a treadmill, a TV, a TV stand, heavy couch and 2 heavy chairs with ottoman (footstool to those folks I grew up with) and one redneck in the cab. That redneck BTW was Charles.


Budget Truck We Rented

VS



Charles' Work Truck

I was in Charles' work truck. He had tied the two trucks together with some straps and chains that we use to cut down trees and told me "Go slow."

So I went slow, slow and steady, and listened to all the creak-creak-creaks and groans from his truck, petrified that I was going to rip out the undercarriage and he was going to remove my ass at the neck for messing up his work truck. While I did that, Charles slammed the Budget truck in reverse and put the gas pedal on the floor....and that wouldn't have been so bad...except that he had the drivers side door open and was leaning WAAAAAAAYYYYY out to look at the back of the truck...and he got mud all in his face and all over the inside of the truck....and that really hampered my ability to drive...because tears blur my vision and I almost lost conscienceness due to my inability to take a breath.

In the end, I pulled him out of the hole in the back yard...and when I went to go look at it...I saw this.....


China

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16 Comments:

At Thursday, March 01, 2007 12:42:00 PM, Blogger Dirty Birdie said...

ROFLMAO - AAAhahahahahahaha - I bet Charles has lovely skin after that mud bath. You should have taken pictures, that's some funny shit.

His humiliation is my entertainment...yes.

 
At Thursday, March 01, 2007 3:33:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you. I always read you at work and you always make me smile. You should have told him "Fabulous" like that gum commercial..."Dirty mouth, clean it up..." LMAO

 
At Thursday, March 01, 2007 4:16:00 PM, Blogger Amy W said...

I would have totally laughed my ass off as well...glad to hear you got the truck unstuck.

 
At Thursday, March 01, 2007 5:45:00 PM, Blogger Chicky Pea said...

Welcome back, I missed you.

 
At Thursday, March 01, 2007 6:48:00 PM, Anonymous Sayre said...

Thanks for the laugh. Is Charles' truck still intact?

BTW - that's me that was hanging on your blog for a while (not a perv). Hubby called me for dinner and wouldn't give me a chance to back out....

Lucky you with new squitchy furniture!!! If we get this house, I'll have to get some furniture my own self...

Glad you're back - we missed you!

 
At Friday, March 02, 2007 3:15:00 AM, Blogger kat said...

ooo. i want leather furniture to lounge nekked on. that would be so nice.

last time i rented a truck our cab clean-up consisted of a latte mom spilled everywhere. ew bad milk.

 
At Friday, March 02, 2007 3:38:00 AM, Blogger Me said...

give us pictures, furniture and charles *snork* after mud bath.

 
At Friday, March 02, 2007 6:41:00 AM, Anonymous Annie Drogynous said...

If I ever dig a hole in my yard, I want to wind up in Maui. You can keep China!

Glad you had a good trip to GA. I'm jealous of your new furniture but you can keep that too since you've been farting on it.

 
At Friday, March 02, 2007 11:35:00 AM, Anonymous Jeff said...

Great story! Glad you are back!

 
At Friday, March 02, 2007 12:31:00 PM, Blogger Dirty Birdie said...

How happy are you that you aren't in Georgia anymore?

 
At Friday, March 02, 2007 3:44:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Dirty - girl, I'm glad I wasn't in the part that had the tornadoes...but we'll be having our own problems with them in about another month - that's when our time comes, and lasts until fall.

Anon - Welcome, and thanks. Stop by anytime.

Amy - I was glad too...I didn't want to calla tow company. They would have charged us 100 bucks plus the truck roll fee (because of gas)LOL

Chicky - Thanks chick

Sayre - yes, Charles' truck is still working thank goodness LOL...and don't worry about the blog hanging...I do it all the time...as a matter of fact, I did it to you earlier today...pulled up your blog to read and then got busy with work...I think I had your site up for an hour or more if I'm not mistaken.

Annie - you trying to say something negative about my farts? Come on now...they don't even stink.

Jeff - thanks.

 
At Saturday, March 03, 2007 6:41:00 AM, Blogger Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

You paint such gloriously vivid picture every time. I can just see your ass prints on the sofa. It's an image I don't want to linger, but somehow it won't go away!

 
At Saturday, March 03, 2007 5:03:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

AHahahahhaa, thats why I never back up on the lawns anymore if has even rained within a week. We had that happen ONE time in upstate, and you learn that lesson real fast. Luckily, as night approached the ground refroze and we could get out....but thats another story...

Sounds like great furniture...

 
At Sunday, March 04, 2007 4:19:00 PM, Blogger Superstar said...

OH MY GAWS!!!

I was laughing so hard I a little PEE came out!

I am sending you 2 copies of my CD since you didn't tell me which cover you wanted.

Spread the christmas love! l;o)

 
At Monday, March 05, 2007 1:58:00 PM, Blogger DannieS72 said...

omg, no that I've caught my breath from laughing so hard at this one, I can honestly say-been there, done that, watched my ex get completely covered in mud in a similar situation & nearly wet my pants from laughing so hard!

 
At Tuesday, March 06, 2007 11:24:00 AM, Blogger Rainman said...

That was some funny ass stuff.

 

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