Friday, February 16, 2007

BITE MY ASS AWARD

It's not often I present this award. As a matter of fact, this is only the second time I have done so, but I feel that it has been earned.

I ran into a girl I used to work with this morning. We were never the best of friends, but we got along alright in the office environment of big corp. company I used to work for.....translation: I left her alone, she left me alone, and we greeted each other occasionally and laughed at something together a couple of times.

We saw each other and stopped to chat a bit and somehow, someway, she brought up that she thinks I'm heartless.

"No shit." I said snickering "What makes you say that?"

"You remember So-and-So?"

"Yeah"

"When we found out she had cancer, you just shook your head and said it was to bad for her kids and then you walked away."

"Well, it is to bad for her kids. I don't see how expressing my sympathies for her kids make me heartless." I admit it, I was chuckling at her logic thus far.

Turns out, because I didn't chip in and send her flowers, and write a mushy message on a card I was heartless.

"Uh-huh. Look. I know you guys liked her, and that's all well and good for you. But I knew her better than you guys did considering I worked more closely with her - as in the same country! and I picked up more than my fair share of her work that she slacked off doing because she was a lazy piece of shit. I never liked her, and wasn't going to make all nicey-nicey with her when I found out she had cancer, just because she had cancer. I felt and FEEL bad for her two girls because it's gotta be a hard thing when you're mom's sick like that, especially since they were so little and probably didn't understand a thing about what was going on....but I'm not going to be a friggin hypocrite and send her messages of love while she's sick when I couldn't stand her when she was well. If that makes me heartless, then what the fuck ever."

Girl I Used To Work With is obviously offended by what I had to say. "You know she died don't you." This pissed me OFF. She was clearly trying to take me to task by telling me in the way she told me. Hand on hip, eyebrows making a V in her forehead, eyes narrowed. She wasn't letting me know friend to friend, she was trying to put me in my place.

"No I didn't know she died. I DO feel sorry for her daughters. It's gonna be very hard for them to grow up without a mom and if I could do something for them I would, BUT - regardless of whether or not she died - I still didn't like her, and while I don't like speaking ill of the dead, I'm not going to suddenly profess to be her best friend and sing her praises either. I can see that you're getting pissed and offended by what I have to say, that's just to bad for you and I don't give a fuck. Get the fuck over it." I walked away, and that was the end of the conversation.

Because of this conversation - trying to guilt me into mouthing words of friendship and respect I didn't feel...I would like to present to Girl I Used To Work With the BITE MY ASS AWARD. Frame it and hang it baby.

Have a nice day.

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27 Comments:

At Friday, February 16, 2007 10:16:00 AM, Blogger St Jude said...

You get em tiger. I applaud your honesty, if something is not heartfelt then you should never try to feign it.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 11:44:00 AM, Blogger Dirty Blonde said...

False sympathy is so offensive to me. Don't pretend to be my friend just because something shitty happened to me. I think that chick has an inferiority complex that compells her to make other people feel like shit.

She should definately bite your ass.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 11:49:00 AM, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Having lost my mom to cancer I can tell you that no fake sympathy was wanted. Or needed. Or advised upon. I'd feel badly for the woman's daughters too, and it's sad that she's now just another statistic like my mom. But for that girl to run in to you, start chatting with you and then pounce on you the way she did is stupid.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 11:52:00 AM, Blogger Iris said...

completely agree with you on this one. Using guilt to try to elicit a reaction is just so wrong. Similar situation at my work. Woman I do not particularily like is dying of cancer. No one really particularily liked her. But when she got sick, everyone was suddenly saddened, like they were losing their best friend. Me, I was actually thinking that I was glad I didn't have to work with her anymore. Though, when she called me and asked me to knit her a couple of chemo caps to cover her sore, bald head, I did so, happily.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 12:24:00 PM, Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

She should bite your ass AND make you breakfast!

The nerve of some people....

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 12:30:00 PM, Anonymous Jennyjinx said...

I hate guilt manipulation. Fuck that shit.

I agree that just because someone got sick and died doesn't mean that you should suddenly become that person's best friend, singing their praises, and missing them oh-so badly. And why feel sorry for her? She's dead. It's her kids that are going to suffer now. As someone who made all kinds of new "friends" because of my own tragedy I can say that she was probably annoyed to hell when people started popping out of the woodwork to keep her company, send her cards, and other shit. Gah. People kill me.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 12:39:00 PM, Anonymous Sayre said...

Some people just don't know when they're outclassed.

So the lady died. Has the award-winner attended the funeral, or helped out with the girls?

I hate when people do that - become best buds because someone is sick. Looking for an inheritance or just needing a temporary friend? Find a sick person and latch on.

That person needs people who REALLY love her around while battling her illness, not those fake friends.

Uh-oh. Do I have strong feelings about this?????

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 4:25:00 PM, Blogger Stinkypaw said...

Too many people are hypocrites like that. Good for you for telling it like it is - too many people don't have the balls to do it.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 4:51:00 PM, Anonymous Jeff said...

You are no hypocrite, I can tell you that! You are brutally honest, but honesty is a virtue.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 5:00:00 PM, Blogger Samantha said...

I feel exactly the same way. There was a complete bitch whom everyone hated who lives near me, and she got meningitis. Suddenly everyone was kissing her ass because she was sick, even though she was still a complete bitch, and I became the bad guy just because I didn't kiss her ass too.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 5:11:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Thanks everybody - it's good to know that you all agree.

Have a great weekend.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 6:07:00 PM, Blogger Cece said...

Yeah, she earned that award alright. Dumb cow.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 7:13:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

Go get'em girl!

First rule of a coversation: never ask someone's opinion unless your prepared for the worst.

She's an ass and just wanted to score points for some reason...

Good job!

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 7:17:00 PM, Blogger Elle*Bee said...

Sometimes tragedy brings people closer. Not always. You expressed your sincere sympathy for the children. The fact that you wouldn't miss the sick coworker doesn't make you a bad person. And I really suspect that your late coworker didn't give a rat's ass about who did and did not sign her card. She probably had more pressing things to worry about.

Personally, IMO, for the coworker you ran into to use the tragedy to insult your character is truly classless.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 8:48:00 PM, Anonymous quinn said...

I like your style..girl...^5....

It just goes to show how many truly shallow there really are out there....If she truly cared about the woman that died.. to begin with she wouldn't be even having this conversation with anyone at all.

 
At Friday, February 16, 2007 8:50:00 PM, Blogger mollymcmo said...

ya bitch bite her ass!!!!

i so see where you're coming from nikki and totally agree with you. she can bite mine too, double ass biting for her!

m

 
At Saturday, February 17, 2007 1:01:00 AM, Blogger Ben said...

When my buddy dies, it's my job to physically remove and/or kick the shit out of people who show up at the funeral that he didn't like or didn't like him.

He said the last thing he wants is some asshole who shared a mutual hate for him standing up at the microphone and telling everyone how close they were.

Pound salt, asswipe.

In related news, I can't help but think of Bender, the robot on the now defunct, but soon returning, television program, Futurama. His catch phrase was "bite my shiny metal ass."

Come say hello sometime!

 
At Saturday, February 17, 2007 9:21:00 AM, Blogger Attila The Mom said...

I'm with Dirty Blonde. I can't stand false sympathy. grrr.

 
At Saturday, February 17, 2007 7:16:00 PM, Anonymous Annie Drogynous said...

Bravo! I completely agree with you. Although if it were me, I would have slugged her before walking away.

 
At Saturday, February 17, 2007 11:54:00 PM, Blogger Brandi said...

Why the fuck does she care if you chipped in or not, or even if you felt bad for her. She deserves the award...

 
At Sunday, February 18, 2007 5:52:00 PM, Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Good for you! I endorse your viewpoint 100%. These is no sense saying nice things you don't mean about people just because they are dead.

Hell, there are some people I am just waiting for to die so I can dance on their graves.

 
At Sunday, February 18, 2007 9:10:00 PM, Blogger Chicky Pea said...

Kudos, Ma'am. I have never been one to do what the majority does. I'm not phoney and don't pretend to like people I don't. Maybe that is part of the reason I have always had a hard time making friends with women. Women, in general, like to hang in groups and go with the flow. I do NOT go with the flow. I feel honored to be able to bite your ass. I think that is the wine talking. :-)

 
At Sunday, February 18, 2007 11:57:00 PM, Blogger Flawed & Disorderly said...

How tacky. How was that supposed to help the situation? It sounds like she was just in the mood for a fight. No class.

BTW, long time no see woman! I just had to come by and say hi! I still think you're such a sweetheart for offering to make a baby blanket for me last summer!

 
At Monday, February 19, 2007 11:51:00 AM, Anonymous nikki said...

just because the woman passed, doesn't change the way she behaved while she was alive. good for you for not doing that false sympathy shit.

 
At Tuesday, February 20, 2007 9:12:00 AM, Blogger Rainman said...

Nikki, I agree 100% with you. The lady died, that sucks for her and her kids, but its not your fault, end of story.

I agree with what mamatulip said having been in the same situation.

mamatulip said...
Having lost my mom to cancer I can tell you that no fake sympathy was wanted or needed.

 
At Tuesday, February 27, 2007 12:33:00 PM, Anonymous Harry L said...

People are such hypocrites about this. Why does their opinion of people have to change when the person
in question passes away? Are they afraid the person's ghost is going to come get them if they were actually honest about their feelings?

 
At Monday, March 05, 2007 12:19:00 PM, Blogger Looney said...

Um, I think I love you.

I just jumped over from FabFlawed where she linked over to you as a Thinking Blogger. Right she is!

Your ol' cow orker is a manipulative bitch in the first degree. She should have told you *first* that the woman was dead.

But in a way, aren't you glad it happened that way? You got to call her out twice :-)

But personally, well, I would only want someone I realllllllly like to bite my arse... preferably just a gentle nibble, really, if that's all it takes :-)

 

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