Odds and Ends

The washing machine is half dead, it no longer has a spin cycle. Well, that's not entirely accurate. It has a spin cycle..it just doesn't spin. It guess it would be more accurately described as the sit there and be soggy cycle...much better than the sit on it and spin cycle.

Our 36" TV went to that big repair room in the sky. Charles is terribly upset and obviously forlorn. We replaced it with the 19" TV from our bedroom that has the unfortunate habit of losing it's picture from time to time. Unfortunately, it loses it's picture more frequently these days and for longer periods of time. We used to be able to restore the picture with a light tap to the side, these days, it sounds like the percussion section in the high school band trying to get the damn thing to work.

The ice dispenser in the door of my fridge is only there for decoration now. I have to actually open the freezer door and reach into the tray to get my ice these days. WTF is that? If I wanted to do that, I would have just picked up the fridge that the Salvation Army had put out on the side of the road with a sign that said "Free to a good home"

My dog has the unfortunate habit of humping my cat...we're expecting kuppies any day now.

The age old question of why the chicken crossed the road will never be answered. The dumb bird got squished by a passing motorist just a few feet from my house. There's feathers everywhere (I'm not kidding).

I just read a news article that said a lot of people in a certain overseas country believe that jumping up and down after sex will prevent pregnancy. I don't know about you, but I think if you still have enough energy after sex to jump up and down - there's nothing to jump up and down about...and I have found that a solid punch to the face when initiating sex is the best birth control method I've encountered thus far - but my eye still hurts from the last time.

I'm still trying to figure out why in the hell the Capri Sun people have named one of their drink flavors "Cool Breeze" or some such shit. I think that it's marketing code for "this doesn't taste nasty enough to veto and we've spent a whole lot of time and money developing it so we'll put it on the market anyway...but we don't have the balls to say that it actually tastes like the flavor we were aiming for..so we'll just make some shit up to make it sound cool and the kids will want to drink it."

My daughter and I were sitting in the car waiting to go thru the car wash, when the guy in front of us opens his door, presses a finger against one nostril and blows the other nostril clean onto the concrete, reverse, repeat. I took the entire box of tissues out of my car and took them to him. If you're going to be disgusting enough to do that, I'm going to be rude enough to give you a box of tissues while trying not to blow chunks in your face.

We went shopping for a TV over the weekend and it was no surprise to me that Charles wants a 57" boob tube. He's been saying for years that once the 36" goes, he wants to move up to the 50's. What is the point of having such a big TV? I hate the idea. hate it. hate it. hate it. hate it!!!!!...but he never asks for anything...so I'm going to shut up about it, and we're going to spend the money that I wanted to use for a treadmill on a friggin TV, and the electronic monstrosity of a television will consume the entire living room and I will want to wretch everytime I look at it. I'm pissed about it...but I guess I'll get over it...in about 3-5 years, because that's how long I've been wanting a friggin treadmill. whaaaaaaaaaaa DAMN IT.