Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Odds and Ends

The washing machine is half dead, it no longer has a spin cycle. Well, that's not entirely accurate. It has a spin cycle..it just doesn't spin. It guess it would be more accurately described as the sit there and be soggy cycle...much better than the sit on it and spin cycle.

Our 36" TV went to that big repair room in the sky. Charles is terribly upset and obviously forlorn. We replaced it with the 19" TV from our bedroom that has the unfortunate habit of losing it's picture from time to time. Unfortunately, it loses it's picture more frequently these days and for longer periods of time. We used to be able to restore the picture with a light tap to the side, these days, it sounds like the percussion section in the high school band trying to get the damn thing to work.

The ice dispenser in the door of my fridge is only there for decoration now. I have to actually open the freezer door and reach into the tray to get my ice these days. WTF is that? If I wanted to do that, I would have just picked up the fridge that the Salvation Army had put out on the side of the road with a sign that said "Free to a good home"

My dog has the unfortunate habit of humping my cat...we're expecting kuppies any day now.

The age old question of why the chicken crossed the road will never be answered. The dumb bird got squished by a passing motorist just a few feet from my house. There's feathers everywhere (I'm not kidding).

I just read a news article that said a lot of people in a certain overseas country believe that jumping up and down after sex will prevent pregnancy. I don't know about you, but I think if you still have enough energy after sex to jump up and down - there's nothing to jump up and down about...and I have found that a solid punch to the face when initiating sex is the best birth control method I've encountered thus far - but my eye still hurts from the last time.

I'm still trying to figure out why in the hell the Capri Sun people have named one of their drink flavors "Cool Breeze" or some such shit. I think that it's marketing code for "this doesn't taste nasty enough to veto and we've spent a whole lot of time and money developing it so we'll put it on the market anyway...but we don't have the balls to say that it actually tastes like the flavor we were aiming for..so we'll just make some shit up to make it sound cool and the kids will want to drink it."

My daughter and I were sitting in the car waiting to go thru the car wash, when the guy in front of us opens his door, presses a finger against one nostril and blows the other nostril clean onto the concrete, reverse, repeat. I took the entire box of tissues out of my car and took them to him. If you're going to be disgusting enough to do that, I'm going to be rude enough to give you a box of tissues while trying not to blow chunks in your face.

We went shopping for a TV over the weekend and it was no surprise to me that Charles wants a 57" boob tube. He's been saying for years that once the 36" goes, he wants to move up to the 50's. What is the point of having such a big TV? I hate the idea. hate it. hate it. hate it. hate it!!!!!...but he never asks for anything...so I'm going to shut up about it, and we're going to spend the money that I wanted to use for a treadmill on a friggin TV, and the electronic monstrosity of a television will consume the entire living room and I will want to wretch everytime I look at it. I'm pissed about it...but I guess I'll get over it...in about 3-5 years, because that's how long I've been wanting a friggin treadmill. whaaaaaaaaaaa DAMN IT.



At Tuesday, February 13, 2007 12:36:00 PM, Anonymous nikki said...

kuppies? that is the damn funniest thing i've heard all day! oh the animal combinations one could make up. a hipird! or giraphant!

At Tuesday, February 13, 2007 12:48:00 PM, Blogger Chicky Pea said...

Now you tell me about the jumping up and down thing. Thanks.

At Tuesday, February 13, 2007 2:10:00 PM, Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

OK, the nose blowing thing. EW!! Why do men think that is ok?!?!? And no, women do NOT do that. Don't even. Ew.

At Tuesday, February 13, 2007 2:21:00 PM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

I want a kuppie!

At Tuesday, February 13, 2007 3:26:00 PM, Blogger Rainman said...

Washing Machine: You need a new dial timer if it agitates. Its usually under 5o bucks at the appliance parts store. You can install, it its easy!

TV. My 30" Sony Trinatron with picture in picture, surround sound, all the bells and whistles went about 6 months ago. I'm still in mourning :(
Let the boy get the 57 incher. ahh ahh ahhhhhh. upside, just think about watching porn on that bad boy!

The nostrel blow is an old Hockey player thing. Granted he shouldnt have done it like that for you guys to see but... when you's out of klennex ya gots to blow da nose some how!

Stupid chicken

Jumping huh? I think having her just swallow works better. Thats what I've heard anyway? :)

At Tuesday, February 13, 2007 4:05:00 PM, Blogger Kevin Charnas said...

I would LOVE to see some video of the dog and the cat. Naughty pet video...oooohhhh yeah!

When I was in Nepal, the women were BEAUTIFUL!!! TOTALLY FRICKIN' HOT, all wrapped in the beautiful clothes and jewelry, then they'd just turn and do what that guy did...they'd blow snot out of one nostril like they were fucking pro's. They could probably kill a fly on a sidewalk with shooting snot if they had to.

It was a great deterent for my appetite.

At Tuesday, February 13, 2007 4:06:00 PM, Blogger Kevin Charnas said...

Christina - maybe not women in this country.

At Tuesday, February 13, 2007 8:03:00 PM, Blogger Sayre said...

So when Charles said he wanted 57 inches, did you mutter "In your dreams, pal!" at him?

All that stuff breaking seems to happen at once, doesn't it. Damn it.

I like the idea of kuppies, but somehow that just seems wrong.

I always figured you for a dragon lady... not an elf.

At Tuesday, February 13, 2007 8:50:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

Be honest. You would NEVER use the treadmill. It be a place to hang clothes to dry.....

If your going to havea 50", go out and buy a Wii game system and get some use out of the TV AND get some exercise. Its a win win situation.

At Wednesday, February 14, 2007 2:39:00 AM, Blogger St Jude said...

You know you love him really!!

At Wednesday, February 14, 2007 8:10:00 AM, Blogger Sven said...

"My dog has the unfortunate habit of humping my cat..."

Whether that is unfortunate or not might depend on who you ask.

At Wednesday, February 14, 2007 12:06:00 PM, Blogger Dirty Birdie said...

My dog has the unfortunate habit of humping my cat...we're expecting kuppies any day now.

I just projected vegetable soup out my nose...thanks I needed a sinus soup enima.

presses a finger against one nostril and blows the other nostril clean onto the concrete, reverse, repeat.

I was going to try to finish my vegetable soup...but now I've changed my mind.

At Wednesday, February 14, 2007 4:58:00 PM, Anonymous Annie Drogynous said...

A few things...

About a year or so ago, my daughter short-circuited our icemaker on the freezer door and now ours is only there for decoration too. I think she got a bit zapped in the process too so it serves her right for breaking a fridge that cost me $1,400.,

My ex replaced me after our divorce with a 57 inch TV, lol. It broke within a week and he had to have the store deliver another one. Remember this when purchasing a new TV...the bigger and more expensive it is, the more costly it is to fix it when it breaks!

My ex calls what your snot man did an "air hanky". It is truly one of the more disgusting things to witness in one's life. I completely understand why you felt like yarfing after seeing that.

At Wednesday, February 14, 2007 8:40:00 PM, Anonymous quinn said...

HaHA I love to come and read your posts...^5..on all of it..

the puppy humping the cat..I just wrote on sayres blog the other day a similar vision...
I turned my head and saw my white shih tzu happily humping my all black cat...
The disturbing part was both were happily enjoying the moment..the really disturbing part ..they are both females...( and fixed)..there will be no kuppies for me..although I could certainly see the market for a kuppie LOL...

As for the tv..we have the same conversation here ..hub wants a 52" tv..but ..this christmas he wanted a new wall unit...too..well..it won't fit that size..so now hes stuck with the 37 " tv in his new wall unit..I think I won that one.

I will be sure not to tell you about the treadmill I have here..

ooops...well..keep an eye out in your local papers or buy/sell internet sites you can pick some really good machines up sometimes at a great price..

But I know how you feel I have been wanting a digital camera for months and was "suppose " to be seeing one for christmas....you tell me ..when you hear digital camera do you hear swiffer ????? geeezzzz...

as for the nose blowing thing..blame it on the hockey players they do that all the time and you see it when you watch the games on tv..now ..mind you they dont have a hankey handy but ewwwww...and this guy..well..yuck..

At Thursday, February 15, 2007 8:10:00 AM, Blogger Me said...

do send me one when you get them :)

At Thursday, February 15, 2007 10:12:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Nikki - We thought that my dog Spud (a Pomeranian) had gotten Stinky and Redhead's dog pregnant (a cockerspaniel). We were waiting to see if the puppies were going to be Cockermanians. LOL

Chicky - I always try to help LOL

Christina - Don't lie - you do it.

OTJ - I'll put you on the list.

Rain - Hubby says it's not agitating and that he has to spray the clutch with WD40 every time we do clothes. LOL We don't watch porn....on the big TV in the living room. The nose blowing thing....I've seen it a million times. Guys did it all the time in the military, especially when we were running 4-8 miles in the morning, but I still hate it. EWWWW
....and did you really go there with the whole swallowing thing? LOL

KEVIN - Dude, I have the hardest time getting your site to load, and when it loads, I can't leave a damn comment....I don't want you thinking I've forgotten you....and that's pretty damn sick with the chicks in Nepal.

Sayre - I didn't mutter, I stated rather loudly that was just to much. I believe things happen in 3's....so we're all done for now....and did you just call me DRAGON LADY? LMAO

Carm - to be honest - yeah, I'd use it. When I want something this long...I know it's not just an impulse buy you know?...and I have a sweater rack....it's a hellova lot cheaper than a treadmill....and I'm not much into video games.

St Jude - SHHHHH! Don't tell him...he'll want to get something else to go with his new TV.

Sven - Very true LOL

Dirty Birdie - Just trying to help a sista out. KISSES

Annie - AIR HANKY???? LMAO. To true. I'm using that phrase..not the air hanky.

Quinn - thanks. I wish Charles would just be happy with something smaller than what he wants ... but I'm not holding my breath for that....and he got you a SWIFFER???? Quinn, girl....you need to KICK HIS ASS.

Me - I'll put you on the list too. LOL

At Thursday, February 15, 2007 11:10:00 AM, Blogger Jazz said...

Kuppies! LMAO! That is so gross it's funny.

Jumping up and down? Hell no, I'm lucky if I get my ass outta bed at all. Hey now, lol.

My husband would die if his TV went. He got his 52" last year. I hated it at first, but now? I couldn't imagine a smaller one. In the main room at least. My 27" (I think) in my room is fine.

A tredmill? Yuck, I can't do them. Now eliptical? Yeah, I'd use that.

At Tuesday, June 16, 2009 5:46:00 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

Wow, I have been out of circulation. While I was gone, everyone (especially you) got VERY funny. Or, is that my life has been drab since leaving the blog world. At any rate, I am back now and have my work cut out for me.


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