No Words

I have been sitting here trying to put into words, a post (or essay),on how deeply and wonderfully my Grandmother, my two Aunts, and ultimately my Mother have effected me. This draft has been on my blog (or journal) for well over a month.

I simply can not find the words. I have noticed over the years as I have penned my short stories and updates for my friends and family, I have a very hard time expressing something that has touched me deeply and I can only revert to laughter. I can only come to the conclusion that simple words cannot express what I want said. They can not express the complexity of the emotions that I feel.

There is nothing simple about the word LOVE and all the implications that little word carries with it, but it still can not explain what lies beneath my breast and makes me feel warm at night.

Thank You is a simple phrase we all use regularly. It is to simple to express the gratitude I feel to them, to little to encompass the undercurrents of emotions I am trying to show them. To tell them that they have made a huge difference to me and in me.

Appreciation does not begin to describe how I feel about the time they took with me, to show me, to explain to me, and to be honest with me. It cannot begin to touch on the way I feel for all of them letting me be me, warts and all, never expecting, but accepting.

Is there a term? An all encompassing and expressive term to tell them that I will be there for them always, just as they always have been for me, to let them know that I accept them and care for them and will stand by them? The word friendship cannot tell them that.

Lucky? No. Lucky can not show them. It can not demonstrate my glee to the cosmos for having letting me share my life with them.

There are no words.