Friday, March 24, 2006

Frankenstein

C is now an official miniature Frankenstein - bald type... with drool (drool is a very "in" accessory these days). He toddles here, he toddles there, he toddles everywhere! with his itsy-bitsy arms out-stretched and stiff legs .

He wears black and blue badges of pride on his little noggin and the occasional scratch on the cranium (as a decorative accompaniment). You should see him model them.

The animals in the house are all terrified. The dog won't come out of his kennel, 2 of the cats hide under the bed and the other looks down on him from his rather lofty position on the back of the couch. You can see him tease my poor little man by twitching his tail like a flag in the breeze and when C gets to close, he wraps it around him like a mantel and looks at him with those cat eyes of his. (You know the look - the flat eyed stare they give you that says "Don't you dare you loathsome imbecile")

He says "DAddEE" all the time now and last night was the first night I have heard "mamamam" in over a week - but I do not despair! He did say MA MA first!

Every minuscule dot on the floor is braced for examination. All amoebas, microbes, viruses and anything else I have tried to kill, have been ordered to stand in very crooked lines (to coincide with his very crooked steps) for his daily inspection when we come home. Sometimes he holds surprise inspections just before bed to make sure. Sure of what - I have no idea. But! he is diligent!

He is exercising his vocal cords as frequently and as loudly as possible - as my neighbors can attest. It does seem to work to our advantage since the squirrels can't seem to take the high frequency screaming and have mysteriously disappeared. Unfortunately, I can't take the high frequency screaming either - I do not however, have the luxury of being able to disappear. BUT LO! I do have the baby cork (a.k.a. the pacifier) to bless the land with peace once more.

I have cancelled my make-believe membership at the local gym since I am getting my exercise at home playing "Round-Up" with C - which he enjoys tremendously - except when I pick him up and move him.

L has gone into hiding in her room and will only come out when he's sleeping as he tends to treat her like a cute and squirmy jungle gym with that elusive and mysterious stuff that he craves ... HAIR. It ultimately ends up as a sorry sort of wrestling match with L trying to gently disengage herself from grasping fingers and small fists without hurting him. The entire time, both of them screaming and squealing so loudly I think they are trying to damage my hearing so that I won't fuss about how loud the radio and TV is in their later years.

I have been threatening to get one of those leashes for children but just can't bring myself to get one as I feel like I would have to take him out for a walk a few times a day so he can go to the bathroom. This is not the direction I feel that we should move in so that idea is out. I am still considering duct tape.

C is 10 months old and still doesn't have a tooth in his head. (Of course, where else in and on his body would they be?) I do not call him the toothless wonder since that is the nickname for our rear... well, you know. I'm having trouble believing that all of that screaming isn't from teething, but regular checking of his gums have yielded only that - gums - all slimy and icky - no teeth. God help me when he does start teething. I think I'll just go ahead and invest in some of those BOSE headphones.

Keeps all sound out.

OOOHHHH - the luxury.

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