Super Glue - Lets Talk Super Glue
Dear Guy at the Grocery Store,
I am really sorry about yesterday afternoon. I feel pretty guilty. I didn't realize what a hazard a stray breeze could be.
When I saw your toupee stand on end on the top of your head and then flap around like a fish out of water, I didn't mean to bust out laughing at you and then nudge my daughter and point. I am so sorry. I am so sorry that everbody else in the parking lot saw it too. I feel horrible. My shame is so deep that I wish I could just blow away like a toupee, I mean, dust in the wind.
I'm sorry that when you raised your hand to slap your furry little friend back on to your head, your ring flew off of your finger and rolled under the SUV. I can not express to you how terribly if feel for laughing so hard I snorted while you had to scoot under the SUV to retrieve it, banging your head and getting your shirt snagged on the under carriage.
I would like to extend my apologies to you - BECAUSE YOUR WIFE BOUGHT YOU LIME GREEN BOXERS WITH LITTLE PINK POLKA DOTS ALL OVER THEM! HA HA! WHO IN HELL MADE THOSE? HA HA HA! THAT'S AN ACT OF LOVE RIGHT THERE BUDDY. YOU HAVE GOT TO LOVE YOUR WIFE TO WEAR THOSE! HA HA! PLEASE TELL ME! WAS IT LAUNDRY DAY? HA HA! WAS THAT ALL YOU HAD LEFT IN THE DRAWER? OH GOD! (wheeze) -Can't breath-Still to funny!
HHHHHHHHHAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAA! SNORT SNORT
UH UM Okay, I am so sorry again. I'm calm now. I am so so sorry for my behavior. Can you ever forgive me?
My own rudeness blows me away - I mean astonishes me. Yeah, astonishes me - that's what I meant.
Oh God, this is going terribly. I'm so sorry.
Labels: That's some funny shit