Friday, April 07, 2006

Super Glue - Lets Talk Super Glue

Dear Guy at the Grocery Store,

I am really sorry about yesterday afternoon. I feel pretty guilty. I didn't realize what a hazard a stray breeze could be.

When I saw your toupee stand on end on the top of your head and then flap around like a fish out of water, I didn't mean to bust out laughing at you and then nudge my daughter and point. I am so sorry. I am so sorry that everbody else in the parking lot saw it too. I feel horrible. My shame is so deep that I wish I could just blow away like a toupee, I mean, dust in the wind.

I'm sorry that when you raised your hand to slap your furry little friend back on to your head, your ring flew off of your finger and rolled under the SUV. I can not express to you how terribly if feel for laughing so hard I snorted while you had to scoot under the SUV to retrieve it, banging your head and getting your shirt snagged on the under carriage.

I would like to extend my apologies to you - BECAUSE YOUR WIFE BOUGHT YOU LIME GREEN BOXERS WITH LITTLE PINK POLKA DOTS ALL OVER THEM! HA HA! WHO IN HELL MADE THOSE? HA HA HA! THAT'S AN ACT OF LOVE RIGHT THERE BUDDY. YOU HAVE GOT TO LOVE YOUR WIFE TO WEAR THOSE! HA HA! PLEASE TELL ME! WAS IT LAUNDRY DAY? HA HA! WAS THAT ALL YOU HAD LEFT IN THE DRAWER? OH GOD! (wheeze) -Can't breath-Still to funny!

HHHHHHHHHAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAA! SNORT SNORT

UH UM Okay, I am so sorry again. I'm calm now. I am so so sorry for my behavior. Can you ever forgive me?

My own rudeness blows me away - I mean astonishes me. Yeah, astonishes me - that's what I meant.

Oh God, this is going terribly. I'm so sorry.

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9 Comments:

At Friday, April 07, 2006 1:17:00 PM, Blogger Charlie said...

Sorry, my left buttock. You loved every minute of it, and so did I.

Anyone who wears a toupee made out of random mouse hair deserves to be laughed at. It is the height of male stupidity and unchecked testosterone.

I wish to hell I'd been there to snort stuff into my moustache. Which is real.

 
At Friday, April 07, 2006 1:26:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Sadly, you are right Admiral. I did love it. It made my month.

 
At Friday, April 07, 2006 9:00:00 PM, Blogger the depressed nurse said...

HA! Great story, I laughed out loud.

 
At Friday, April 07, 2006 10:52:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Thanks Anna! I too have a potty mouth (as if you couldn't tell).

 
At Saturday, April 08, 2006 8:57:00 AM, Blogger Attila The Mom said...

...I'm so sorry that I had to run home and blog about it! LOL

Hysterical! You're a bad bad girl!

 
At Saturday, April 08, 2006 10:07:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Yes I am! And damn it's fun.

 
At Tuesday, May 30, 2006 6:17:00 PM, Blogger Meg said...

Ha ha! I would have laughed, too! That was hilarious.

 
At Tuesday, May 30, 2006 11:50:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Thanks Meg. I still laugh at that poor guy.

 
At Saturday, July 29, 2006 7:18:00 PM, Blogger Happy0303 said...

Poor guy to have crossed your path! It is pretty funny though and I'm sure I would have laughed if I was there, too.

Here via Mommy of the Record's 100th post.

 

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