My Practical Jokes - Agony Level - EXCRUCIATING

I just wanted to pass on to you a few of my all time favorites.

This particular one I did to poor, poor hubby. It's amazing he still loves me. Well, more to the point, it's amazing I'm still breathing.

Once upon a million years ago, when I was pregnant with my daughter Lauren, My hubby was in PLDC. It's a school the Army has to teach soldiers how to become Sergeants - Leaders of Men and Women.

I was allowed to visit hubby - or rather hubby-in-training, once a day and bring him anything that he might need as his "Sponsor".

Well, during this particular visit, I had just gotten my first ultra sound that afternoon and was on a natural high. I was in a great mood and was feeling extremely devilish. "What can I do to fuck with him?" I thought. "There has got to be some way I can mess with his brain in some general way without getting him into to much trouble." I kept thinking about it the whole time I was driving over there.

It was part of the school discipline for him to stand at Parade Rest while I was speaking to him, even though I was a lower rank. He was not allowed to laugh, and was only allowed to talk sparingly. Hubby is one of the most self-disciplined individuals I have ever met and it was a real challenge for me to try break it. As I was walking up, a thought struck me (it hurt). I knew what I was going to do and I had to fight HARD to keep the smile off of my face.

Hubby was released from the chow line to contact his "Sponsor" - me.

Me - Well, do you want to know how the ultra sound went today?

Charles - (quick nod of the head)

Me - It's twins.

Charles - (blank look)

Me - Did you hear me? I said it's twins.

Charles - (blank look)

pause - me waiting for reaction.

Me - Okay fine, it's not twins. They can't tell what sex the baby is, but there is only one.

Charles - (blank look)

Me - (sighing deeply) Okay, do you need anything?

Charles - No.

Me -(shaking head) Okay, I'll see you next week.

I left feeling very disappointed. I thought FOR SURE that would get him. HELL, it would've messed with my head! I was mopey the rest of the day. I didn't know if I would ever be able to get him.

I went to visit him the next week, all thoughts of the previous week's visit were out of my head.

Me - Hey there soldier man. Do you need me to bring you anything?

Charles - No. . . how are the babies?

Me - Babies? Our baby is fine. What other baby?

Charles - (jaw dropped) huh? wha? You said twins.

Me - huh? OH! ... Didn't you hear the part where I said there was only one?

Charles - No, I didn't get that part. (relief swept across his face - to this day, I would swear in a court of law I saw tears of joy in his eyes.)

Me - How did you not get that part? I told you right after I told you we were having twins.

Charles - I was really focused on the "TWINS". I was to traumatized to focus on anything else. The only thing I remember after that was laying in my bunk later that night.

Me - Oh...uh....sorry.....There's only one.


When I think about this it was cruel - but damn it - I told him right after! It was not my intent to keep him in pain for a full week.

I feel kinda bad about it - but I'm still cracking up, 9 years later.

I hope he never gets me back for this one.