Do Things Like This Only Happen To ME?

Okay, okay. I've never professed to be the most sensitive person on earth. I think my blog title shows that, but I'm mostly harmless, really. I try to respect other people's beliefs. I am starting to broaden my horizons in many aspects of my life and learn more about different things that I would have been closed off to before.

One of those things is religion. Shoot me if you want, but Mary Chapen Carpenter said it best "Forgiveness doesn't come with a debt." Here Here. But I have started going back to church, well okay I started going to church - minus the "back" part. I wasn't brought up in the church and have forged my own relationship with God over time. I love him, he loves me and we both get a good laugh out of some of the stuff he pulls - because we all know GOD does have his little jokes.

Getting to the point. Lauren has gone to Revival every summer with my HIL (Horror-in-law for those of you that are new) and really enjoys it. My neighbors S and J started going to this little Baptist church about 2 miles from my house - roughly the size of a shoe box - and S highly recommended it. That carried a lot of weight with me. I think quite highly of S. She is one of the most down to earth people I have ever met and will accept you for who you are, no questions asked. I like that. I respect her, so when she said something good about a church, I paid attention.

We started going to the earlier services so Lauren could go to Sunday School. That first Sunday, I sat through the regular service while Lauren was in Sunday School and when it was time for her to go to children's church, I was resigned to listening to the same service all over again - good thing I brought my Sudoku book and a pencil. The preacher comes up to me and says "You're not going to sit through the sermon again are you?" "Yeah, Lauren is in Childrens Church so I'm here for a little while." "Well, they have bible school down stairs for adults. You could try that if you want. I mean, I'm good, but not that good." SNICKER ~I love that preacher~

I'm sitting in the Fellowship Hall with a bunch of people I haven't seen before sitting in one of those metal folding chairs, and this guy starts going on about adultery. I'm listening like a good girl. He's got my attention. Next he starts talking about how we should try to learn a verse of the bible every week or so and then starts talking about a fellow he knows that has memorized almost the entire bible word for word. And then he says...

He once told me there are X (I don't remember how many he said) many passages in the bible related to adultery and you should learn them all so that the next time you are tempted by lust, you should repeat them in your head because there is just no way you can feel lustful and recite verses from the bible at the same time."

That did it for me. I was immediately picturing in my head, Charles and I about to do the dirty deed and tried at the same time to say the Lord's Prayer. I started cracking up. It started off real slow and I couldn't keep the smile off my face, I casually raised my hand to cover it. I started to laugh harder and noticed my body was starting to shake so I faked a few coughs to cover it up, but it was not use. I couldn't stop laughing. I was thinking to myself "Who is going to do this? Is there a piece of ass out there that is so wonderful you gotta break down and pray to keep from getting your groove on?" I started laughing so hard tears were rolling down my face. I snorted. This guy who is infront of a whole class of adults turns to me and says "Are you going to be alright?"

In between cackles I said "Yes (gasp) I'll be fine." and then I just couldn't hold it back anymore.

I busted out laughing. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt, right there in front of everybody. I laughed, and laughed and laughed.

I felt like an ass. I really did, but damn it, I like going to church even more now.