Sunday, July 16, 2006

Please Help Contribute To The Suffering Of Man

Specifically MY MAN.

He's got it comin. We all know that. I have spent my time thinking, thinking, thinking and have come up with ZIP, ZILCH, ZERO, NONE, NADA ideas on how to get my beloved Boogerhead back.

I'm depending on you, dear demented reader (and I know you're demented, otherwise, you wouldn't read me) to help me top Charles' gloriously good practical joke.

I have decided to start a contest. The grand prize with be (trumpets and fanfare) NOTHING. Why nothing? Because I don't have shit to give you, and I'm not a member of paypal. Sorry.

You will however, get to "see" Charles' reaction in my play by play accounting that I will give you right here.

Please leave all ideas in the comments section...please, I'm desperate to top him. (does this sound like begging? - cause I am)

Feel free to put the word out if you are so inclined on how to one up him. BOMBARD me with inspriration (no poo please)


Addendum - Feel free to ask as many questions about Charles as you deem necessary. I will answer what I can.

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At Sunday, July 16, 2006 2:28:00 PM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

I'll be thinking on it... we may need more info about Charles to conceive osf something truly devious...

At Sunday, July 16, 2006 2:52:00 PM, Blogger Annie Drogynous said...

I think whatever you decide to do, you should get his boss in on it.

At Sunday, July 16, 2006 6:54:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

Now now there nikki, lets be a bit fair.

YOU had it coming. Now you just want to get uneven again....*grin*

What's his likes and dislikes?

Although if your really wanting to get even, waiting a few months to let his guard slightly down would be a good idea.

Although, off the top of my head, the next time you have sex, leaving a pregnacy test on the counter, not quite out in the open, would be a start in the volley.......

At Sunday, July 16, 2006 6:57:00 PM, Blogger jennster said...

well shit.. i might have to ask around... will get back to you! lol

At Sunday, July 16, 2006 7:48:00 PM, Blogger parnellpr said...

Will be linking to both posts. Here's a few ideas. You could get his boss, a few co workers and some other sundry people on board, rig up a camera in a hotel conference room, pretend there's like a really big meeting, and let the punk'd scenario of your choice unfold. Then hawk the tape round to anybody you like or keep it as future black mail material. Pippa

At Sunday, July 16, 2006 7:55:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Joy - Ask away.

Blair - that has potential. I have his boss' Nextel number, but I'm afraid it would back fire. Charles is gets along extrememly well with all the guys he works with (damn likeableness). He's incredibly laid back and easy going. He RARELY losses his temper about anything.

Carm - you won't hear me arguein' with you there. (snicker)

-He's a big Nascar fan.

-um, he's a big Nascar fan.

That's pretty much the only thing he's passionate about.

The pregnancy test thing wouldn't work. (good idea though) 6 weeks after Connor was born, I got my tubes tied. He'd know I was screwing with him.

Jenn - thank you my dee-ah.

At Sunday, July 16, 2006 7:57:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Parnell - (thinking about that) I don't know how I'd do that. Definate thought input needed there. hmmmmm.

At Sunday, July 16, 2006 8:09:00 PM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

How about an opportunity to meet / have dinner with X Nascar driver...???

At Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:07:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

You're not making this easy, go get your tubes untied....*grin*

NASCAR, hmmmm, whos his favorite.

At Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:57:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Joy - oooooooo, that has potential. Maybe I'll tell him I won a contest on the radio or something.

no, no. Now that I think about it, that would just be to cruel. I think for him, that would be crossing the line. I don't think he would ever forgive me. Seriously, I'm not kidding.

Carm - Dale Jarrett is his fav.

Tubes untied? ARE YOU MAD? When I found out I was pregnant with Connor, I asked the Dr to go ahead and set up the appointment to tie my tubes. I told him something along the lines of "tie 'em in a bow, cut em out, burn the remants and dance on the ashes"

Pregnancy for me was extremely painful and hellish.

At Monday, July 17, 2006 1:30:00 AM, Blogger Me said...

Uhmm...Let's see...
You could pretend to have an affair, but that's too obvious right?
And you have done the pregnancy, twins thing...
Uhmm...This requires further thinking.
I shall be back.

At Monday, July 17, 2006 6:45:00 AM, Blogger Annie Drogynous said...

Wait a can't play a dirty joke on him involving Nascar but he can have his friend calling him and telling him there's some hoochie mama waiting for him while you're right there in the room?!

That doesn't seem fair! lol

At Monday, July 17, 2006 9:48:00 AM, Anonymous nikki said...

Ever thought of becoming a lesbian? I bet that one would throw him for a big loop! that and it would make all your readers pee their pants laughing

At Monday, July 17, 2006 12:14:00 PM, Blogger Rainman said...

OK, this didnt come from me.
Wait a month and then set this one up. Have one of your girlfriends hit on him when your not around. Call her and have her run into him accidently at the store, etc, etc. Have her do it 2-3 times until you finally catch them in the act! Should make for some interesting conversation.

At Monday, July 17, 2006 3:17:00 PM, Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

Get him really drunk, take the back roads home, when he needs to stop and take a piss outside the car, leave him there.

At Monday, July 17, 2006 4:25:00 PM, Blogger Dirty Birdie said...

Hhhmmm..I would get one of the local radio stations in on a joke to tell him he's won a dinner out with his favorite NASCAR driver.

Or, what exactly does he do at work? And how conservative is his office?

At Monday, July 17, 2006 4:28:00 PM, Blogger Dirty Birdie said...

If he was involved with hiring (and maybe you can get his boss in on this) you could have a stripper apply for the job and start going on and on about how they'll do anything to get this job and start taking their clothes off.

My bosses wife did that to him and I thought he was going to die right there in his chair when she took her jacket off....ROFL.

At Wednesday, July 19, 2006 1:51:00 AM, Blogger Talk of the Town said...

Hiya! I am in the midst of revenging my husband as well! May have to borrow some ideas. Here are two:
1. Make sure kids are not around (so as not to scar them for life). Fake blood, make up. You, lying at the bottom of the stairs as he walks in the door. Or, you screaming while he's in another room, and when he walks in, you are lying dead on the floor with a banana peel nearby - having slipped on it and cracked your head open. Morbid, yes. But my husband, who catches on to everything, actually believed I had cut my hand off in the panic of it all. Just PROMISE that you will never trick him like that again after (the whole cry wolf thing).

2. His birthday (or some gift-giving holiday). Drop little hints and clues about a really fast car, or something to do with Nascar. Blindfold him and take him outside, and tell him not to get too excited, because it's only a month long rental. Meanwhile - have a piece of shit car wraped up, and tied in a bow waiting for him on the driveway. When you take off his blindfold, hand him an owners manual for some sports car he loves, and tell him he deserves it, but he's not allowed to go too fast. Then let him unwrap his piece of shit.

At Friday, July 21, 2006 4:22:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site! Keep up the good work. Thanks.


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