Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Famous Quotes

Being a wife and mother (as so many of us are)

I have heard myself say interesting things:

Lauren, pick the wedgie out of your butt for goodness sakes. If you're so hungry that your butt is eating your underwear, grab an apple.

Connor, Honey, Sweetie, Baby, could you save the whole peeing all over a parent thing for Daddy?

No Lauren, a poncho, a sweater and a pair of shorts with sandals doesn't match.

(Talking to my brother when Lauren is a month old) It's hard to believe that one day, this beautiful person is going to call me a bitch.

No honey, that's not a poop stain on my underwear.

What was that sweetie? Oh, it's because Mommy is a republican. Can you say RE-PUB-LI-CAN?

Charles (using last name)if you slap me on the ass and tell me "good game" one more time....we're going to have a problem.

Who knew my mom was so smart?

I would LOVE to take a nap.

Gitchie, Gitchie, GOO!

WOW! I've never heard anyone fart quite like that. (talking to Connor)

Um, Charles? Is this supposed to happen to baby boys? REALLY? Well uh...which way do I point it so it doesn't break off?

Go.....son......just..... AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (to prevent swearing in front of the kids)

I hate it when the dog humps the stuffed animals.

No, it's not a special occassion. Put that away.

I know you've got a couple. Come clean.

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25 Comments:

At Wednesday, August 30, 2006 11:22:00 PM, Anonymous Jeff said...

It is great that you are recording this for posterity. :)

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 12:22:00 AM, Blogger 34quinn said...

Hahahah, being the mom of two sons many of those very same things have been uttered in my home..and they just keep getting funnier all the time.
My youngest is 13 now and it still amazes me the things that are said between all of us. hahahaha

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 1:26:00 AM, Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

LOL. If I had a nickle for every time my dog humped a stuffed animal, well, I'd be a RICH woman.

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 7:38:00 AM, Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

Lauren is fashion challenged too? I got my youngest in therapy now. Camo mini skirt, blue flip flops and a pink shirt DO NOT go together. No Amber, they do NOT. We're going to church for god sake!

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 8:34:00 AM, Anonymous nikki said...

my fave is
"how can something so cute, stink so damn bad?!"

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 9:57:00 AM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Those are MOST excellent! Ha ha ha ha!!

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 10:05:00 AM, Blogger Sayre said...

I can't believe the stuff that comes out of my mouth sometimes. It never occurred to me to write them down (but probably SHOULD have as there are some real gems in there).

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 10:07:00 AM, Blogger Stinkypaw said...

You are quite the entertainer Nikki!

BTW, if it's not a poop stain on your inderwear, what is is?

One thing I hear myself saying (to my husband since I'm kidless) is: "Don't think too much, it slows you down" and
(when he leaves home) "Watch out for the morons! They're everywhere!"

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 11:43:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Jeff - We all do what we have to do for man kind. LOL

Quinn - I'm just waiting until Connor starts really talking. Gah! That boy is going to have a smart mouth...like his dad. LOL

MOTR - Let me know if you ever figure out a way to cash in would you? LOL

Christina - LOL! She's getting so much better, but sometimes, it's just scary.

Nikki - AMEN sista!

Joy - thank you thank you.

Sayre - I've been keeping a weekly journal for a year or so and really wish I had started sooner. Some of the stuff in there cracks me up. Lauren is to much.

Stinky - It's uhhhh...uhhhh....A BLEACH STAIN. Yeah, that's what it is.

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 3:01:00 PM, Blogger Dirty Birdie said...

Charles (using last name)if you slap me on the ass and tell me "good game" one more time....we're going to have a problem.

LOL!!! My husband and his co-workers do that to each other constantly and all I can say is....that's gay.

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 4:28:00 PM, Blogger Superstar said...

my favorite is "WHY?" "Because I SAID so"

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 5:17:00 PM, Anonymous michele said...

A couple used in our house... Never thought I'd say...

We do not kill in this house.
Please don't kill your brother.
Please don't kill the cat.
Don't play with my butt.
No honey, I do NOT need a penis.
Yes, I know they must be fun.
No, those are mommy's. They are not cannons. No they are not lipsticks.
Yes, yes honey it IS a big one... JAY!!!!! (Jay would be my husband who is called on all things penis-y. I simply don't have one)

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 6:40:00 PM, Blogger Sayre said...

My son shrieks at the sight of a bug (yes, we live in Florida-bug capital of the world, so there's lots of shrieking). I routinely say to him:

If you're making noise like that, there'd better be blood somewhere!

 
At Thursday, August 31, 2006 8:01:00 PM, Blogger kat said...

yeah, i'm a big proponent of "because i said so" and i'm not even a mom yet. ask a stupid question - get a stpuid answer.

my favorite nanny conversation:
"who's in charge here?"
"i am."
"oh, you need to stay in your room and think about that answer."
(ok not my favorite, but it applies here)

 
At Friday, September 01, 2006 8:33:00 AM, Blogger Me said...

Snort. I am stealing the wedgie one.

 
At Friday, September 01, 2006 8:34:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Dirty - that crap ticks me off! Ohhh I just hate it.

Dirty - I use that all the time.

Michele - LMAO - a few of those sound familiar.

Sayare - LOL - I'm usin' that one.

Kat - O.M.G. - If Lauren ever said that to me.....there'd be trouble.

 
At Friday, September 01, 2006 8:35:00 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

ME! - hey woman - steal away

 
At Friday, September 01, 2006 8:53:00 AM, Blogger Farm Girl said...

I don't think I have seen a dog hump a stuffed animal before.....

 
At Friday, September 01, 2006 12:11:00 PM, Blogger Los said...

These are excellent quotes! You must keep and add to this list - it'll be great to look back on it years from now.

 
At Friday, September 01, 2006 1:02:00 PM, Blogger Attila The Mom said...

"Lauren, pick the wedgie out of your butt for goodness sakes. If you're so hungry that your butt is eating your underwear, grab an apple."

I think I just snorted part of a grape up my nose!

 
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