Famous Quotes

Being a wife and mother (as so many of us are)

I have heard myself say interesting things:

Lauren, pick the wedgie out of your butt for goodness sakes. If you're so hungry that your butt is eating your underwear, grab an apple.

Connor, Honey, Sweetie, Baby, could you save the whole peeing all over a parent thing for Daddy?

No Lauren, a poncho, a sweater and a pair of shorts with sandals doesn't match.

(Talking to my brother when Lauren is a month old) It's hard to believe that one day, this beautiful person is going to call me a bitch.

No honey, that's not a poop stain on my underwear.

What was that sweetie? Oh, it's because Mommy is a republican. Can you say RE-PUB-LI-CAN?

Charles (using last name)if you slap me on the ass and tell me "good game" one more time....we're going to have a problem.

Who knew my mom was so smart?

I would LOVE to take a nap.

Gitchie, Gitchie, GOO!

WOW! I've never heard anyone fart quite like that. (talking to Connor)

Um, Charles? Is this supposed to happen to baby boys? REALLY? Well uh...which way do I point it so it doesn't break off?

Go.....son......just..... AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (to prevent swearing in front of the kids)

I hate it when the dog humps the stuffed animals.

No, it's not a special occassion. Put that away.

I know you've got a couple. Come clean.

The Bitch is Back

Hey Everybody!
I got an email from my brother Jason in Iraq! ~whooping and hollering~

Don't ask me where he is, because I have no idea. Do you remember me posting this? His email below just confirms that the love he has for his little sister is still there.~sniffles, wiping tear from eye~

God I miss his sorry ass, and I have this strange feeling that he really wants me to kick him in the nuts. - Call it a gut feeling - LOL

The email is below - slightly edited. (It's family business)

Subject Line: sup bitch

hey ya trick ass bitch,
i'm glad i got your e-mail. don't worry it doesn't cost me any money to send e-mails, i'm at the MWR where what little bit they got is free.

DELETED

other than that drama, everything here still sucks. its starting to get really hot here. it's really hot during the day. well over 100 degrees every day. it's even hot at night. when the wind blows it like somebody turned on a hair dryer. OR you could just be breathing in my face (that would explain the funky smell too). just think, it's only going to get hotter. between 130 and 140 in july and august.
so, give Lauren and Connor a hug and kiss from Uncle Jason. tell yer old man i said "Hey!" as for you... make sure you wear make-up so people don't confuse your face with your ass. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
i love you bitch. take care and drop me another line.
sorry i haven't written, i didn't have your e-mail address.
love you,

JASON



Kinda makes you weepy doesn't it.

I'm Just Pissed Off

***WARNING*** If you have a problem with bad language - now is the time to leave this post.

Yesterday I posted a welcome home to my brother, whom I deeply love and respect. In said post, I stated clearly that it was not a forum for debate over the war in Iraq. Most of you put aside political beliefs and sent kind words and a welcome home to Jay, and I truly thank you for taking the time and effort to welcome him home. Your comments have really touched me and I'm sure they will touch Jay as well. However, a few of you decided to ignore the fact that my post was not meant for the opportunity to let your feelings be known on the war, and let it all hang out. A couple of you commented at such length that you should have put something up on your own blog. One of you even had the damn nerve to talk shit about ALL the soldiers in Iraq. I am sorry to say that I didn't keep them. I sincerely wish you could read for yourselves the hurtful and ugly things that these fools were spewing forth.

I admit, I tried to let it go, to make Jay's welcome home as nice as possible and to ignore the sorry rat ass bastards that are just trying to stir up shit - but I can't. I will no longer sit idlely by, while you run your dumb ass mouths.

The following is for the above mentioned idiots who need to grab the tweezers and go play with themselves.

To all of you who sent me shitty comments - go fuck yourselves. I support our troops. I support the war in Iraq, the war on terror, tapping phone lines of potential terrorists, and I even LIKE George W. Bush! I support anything and anyone that makes my country a safe place to live for me, my family, and yes, even your sorry ass.

If you have you have an issue with our soldiers - WHO SACRIFICE THEIR LIVES - hunting and killing the people who slammed airplanes into the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and into a field in Pennsylvania killing THOUSANDS, it's you that should be shot.

Is killing the bad guy the problem for you? What would you have us do? Should we send a note of apology to them? Dear Bad Guy, Sorry we offend you with our beliefs. We will try as soon as possible to stop believing in all things good, and just believe what you and the media want us to. Signed, The Great Satan.

Hell, I say shot 'em up! Fuck them! I had friends in the Pentagon, damn it! I was a soldier! I too, have defended your right to be a dumb ass.

Do you have any idea how you make our soldiers feel when you tout your crap? These are living breathing human beings for Christ sakes! Think what you are doing to their moral! Think how you are effecting their families with the shit that flies from your mouth. What about the families of the victims of 9/11? You are a bunch of mealy mouth, yellow backed bastards. You are so set against "Big Brother" that you forget that he is called that because big brothers PROTECT you.

I will never say that I agree with everything Big Brother does. Being an American gives me that right, but I will never say that I take a soft stance on terrorism either. I will never say that I hate all Muslims, I don't, but I do hate all religious radicals - regardless of religion. I will never say my opinion is the only correct one, but I do say that dumb shits like you should not be allowed to speak in public.

I welcome all your comments to this post, regardless of your opinions. We all have the freedom of speech. Just remember, it's those soldiers, whom you so vehemently malign, that defend your rights.

*************************************************************************************

Please go here to read Misha's post for further words on this subject.

Welcome Home Bitch

My brother is home on leave from Iraq( I would tell you what he does but then I'd have to kill you). I'm so damn tickled I can hardly stand it.

I would be even more tickled if he could drop by and give his little sister a hug, but his being in Texas prevents that. I'm kind-a upset about that even realizing that he would still probably wrestle me down to the floor, pin me and pop my toes. (God! that hurts)

My brother, who has given up the first Christmas with his first child (his son), has endured long term separation from his wife and family, worked long hours suffering from exhaustion, been exposed to extreme heat, freezing temperatures and everything in between,who has seen sights no man should see, is home with his family.

I'll never forget the first letter he sent me from Basic. It went something along these lines:

Sup Bitch,

We were doing sit-ups up hill the other day and some grass got in the crack of my ass and I thought of you.

Can't you just feel the love that radiates from those words? Kinda gives you a warm fuzzy doesn't it. He's such a softy, to bad he has trouble expressing himself.

I'm not here to debate with you about the war in Iraq. I'm not concerned if you feel like it's the right thing or the wrong thing. I'm not going to debate over the tactics that got us sent over there, right or wrong. I'm here to express my joy that my favorite Shitbird is home. I'm very proud of him (God, don't tell him, I'll never live it down), and I will not subject him to assholes bashing him or anything he does. Period. He's got enough to worry about, besides, if anyone is going to talk shit and abuse him, it's going to be me. I won't let you horn in on my fun.

I know he doesn't want to go back, and I don't want him to go back but when duty calls, you go because you are a soldier, defender, protector and liberator. You go because you love your country, freedom and because you signed the dotted line saying you would go, regardless of your feelings about the subject and the politics that go with it. You go because if you don't, they'll throw your ass in Leavenworth, and since no one can accuse my brother of being a complete idiot (he's just the standard type), he went.

For now, let's just all pretend that we all agree on one thing. Let's pretend that we are glad that he and all the other soldiers, who lay their lives on the line, are there to do it, so we don't have to.

Welcome home Bitch. I love ya.