Friday, April 06, 2007

Feel The Love





This is my Pimp.










This is my Pimp on drugs.




Okay, okay, in all seriousness - he's not my pimp. That's my son..aka The HEATHEN. Hero. Midget Man. Little Dude. Mean Baby. Little Baby. Belly Man. Cuteness. Stubborn. Jr. Little Daddy. The walking - MAKE MOMMY SCREAM MACHINE.

Look deeply into his shockingly hazel eyes...you can see the love he has for his mother if you look really hard and relax and clear your mind. Enjoy the peace of your surroundings. Everyone coming together in friendshit...er friendship and peace. Your eyelids are getting heavy and you're getting sleepy. So very, very sleepy. No, this isn't the time for a Red Bull. Just relax and feel the baby love. Now just relax. How do you feel? Good. That's very good.

Now I want you to think about your bank account....yes, that's good....very good. Now I want you to tell me about it...just so you can release your stress from thinking about money and bills and just give all that stress to me. Let me have your stress. Let me help you with your bank account.

Yes, that's right. Let me help you. Let me do this for you. Don't you feel better? Feeling that stress just melt away like purged poison.

Now take a deep cleansing breath, and tell me your routing number.

That's good, but give me just a minute...I need a pen. Okay, once more please. That's very good. You are a very good girl aren't you. That's right. Tell me about your savings......I meant lack of savings. No, we don't need to talk about that any more.

Enjoy the peace of mind I have given you....take another cleansing breath and feel the the tension and angst leave your body thru your finger tips. Now I want you to take those same finger tips and sign this Power Of Attorney. That's very good. Very, very good.

Yes, you are a good, good girl. Let me pet your head. ..... Don't use so much hairspray next time, I cut my finger....but you're still good aren't you.

Now I want you to wake up very slowly. Slowly slowly slowly. When you wake up, the only thing you will remember is the cute baby pictures I showed you earlier, and you will awaken with intense feeling of friendship and love for me. No, not that kind of love....*ahem* I didn't know you were that way....the friendship love. Yes that's right.

Nothing but love and friendship and shopping.

And powerful baby love.


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16 Comments:

At Friday, April 06, 2007 11:15:00 AM, Blogger Attila The Mom said...

hehehehe. Sooooo adorable!

Where's my purse dammit? It was here a minute ago!

 
At Friday, April 06, 2007 12:43:00 PM, Blogger Alcluith said...

He's very handsome! :-)

I think the sheep on Iona have to go over to the mainland to have their hair done. It certainly doesn't involve Photoshop at any point...;-)

 
At Friday, April 06, 2007 1:35:00 PM, Blogger kim said...

awww Nikki (not to be confused with the drugged our porn queen nikki) hes a real cutie! I was just catching up and reading your last few posts ..cuz im a bad blogger bitch :)
now where was that atm card ...

 
At Friday, April 06, 2007 1:36:00 PM, Blogger kim said...

that was drugged OUT not OUR teehee

 
At Friday, April 06, 2007 5:11:00 PM, Blogger Superstar said...

LOL ;o)
That is so cute! I know exactly what you mean. I sometimes want to strangle #1 and #2...then I take a cleansing breath and remember that I am only the Auntie...AHHHHHH
In thru the nose and out the mouth of babes! ;o)

 
At Friday, April 06, 2007 5:44:00 PM, Blogger Elle*Bee said...

LMAO!

 
At Saturday, April 07, 2007 8:46:00 AM, Blogger Jennifer McK said...

VERY cute. Well, except that it's true.
"But mom, you totally said I could have that $20 bucks. YOu TOLD me to take it out of your wallet. Don't you remember?"

 
At Saturday, April 07, 2007 3:30:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

So cute! he's going to break hearts in a while...

 
At Sunday, April 08, 2007 7:08:00 AM, Anonymous Annie Drogynous said...

Sooooooooo sleeeepy. Yeah right. Like I'd share my routing number with anyone!

Nice try, though. I'll give you points for trying to distract me with pictures of the cute kid.

 
At Sunday, April 08, 2007 7:08:00 AM, Anonymous Annie Drogynous said...

Ooops! Would you mind deleting that first comment from anonymous?! thx

 
At Monday, April 09, 2007 9:22:00 AM, Blogger Woman with kids said...

I feel nothing but love. And the incredibly strong urge to buy shoes.

 
At Monday, April 09, 2007 11:58:00 PM, Anonymous Nikki said...

Ha! You'd find nothing there but some dust bunnies.....speaking of dust bunnies, would you mind cleaning them while your trying to rob me with all that cuteness? Thanks.

 
At Tuesday, April 10, 2007 1:33:00 PM, Blogger Pendullum said...

I'm onto you Missy...

But you forgot the temple rub with peanut butter fingers that pass as coconut oil...

 
At Tuesday, April 10, 2007 3:10:00 PM, Blogger Rainman said...

There must be something in the water down there! Drink up!

 
At Tuesday, April 10, 2007 6:00:00 PM, Blogger Cece said...

OMG he's adorable!

Wait. Are you telling me kids are bad & usually misbehave? Not MINE!


lol Ppssshh! I wish!

 
At Wednesday, April 11, 2007 1:56:00 PM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

He is CUTE!

 

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