Saturday, August 25, 2007

Yes, I AM A Smart Ass

I drove down to Richmond yesterday to pick-up my Victim (aka Charles). Seems he had a little accident in his work vehicle. OOPS.

...and because I love him soooooo very, very much......and because I'm a cheeky broad....I had to fuck with him a little bit.

"So, you had a little accident in your van huh."


"What did your boss say?"

"He said 'Shit happens.'"

"They gonna clean it up for you?"

"Yeah. Shouldn't be any problem really. There wasn't that much damage."

"Damage? You caused damage?"

He looked at me like I had a wart on my nose. "Damage normally happens when you have an accident."

"That's normal for you is it?"

"That's normal for anybody."

"Well, I'd have to say that when someone has an accident in their vehicle, they don't tell their boss. "

"Only if they're stupid they don't."

"Sweetheart, I don't know how close you and your boss are....but a normal person doesn't tell ANYONE when they have an accident in their vehicle...but you may want to get checked out by a Dr.."

"I did go to the Dr. They gave me a urinalysis and a breathalyzer and I blew a 0.00. The urinalysis results should be back next week sometime."

"Did they check you for a urinary tract infection?"

"Why in the hell would they do that?"

"Because if you pissed in the van, then you definitely have a problem. I mean, it's okay if you want people to think you were in a wreck or something instead of having some sort of bladder control problem. There's a lot less humiliation in having a wreck than having "an accident", especially at your age."

I'm telling you, he has got to love me to have been around me this long.

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At Saturday, August 25, 2007 11:51:00 PM, Blogger Sayre said...

You are such a wise-ass. It's a good thing Charles loves you!

At Sunday, August 26, 2007 7:54:00 AM, Blogger Shrig said...

Isn't Charles the one that played that trick on you by having his buddy call from a "party" pretending that a "girl he liked" was there and waiting for him...??

I can kind of see why he does that stuff to you ;) ;)

Smart-ass woman.

At Sunday, August 26, 2007 9:40:00 AM, Anonymous nikki said...

It could have been worse, he could have shit in the van.

At Sunday, August 26, 2007 11:37:00 AM, Blogger kim said...

yep ... you are definitely asking for it chicky lol

At Monday, August 27, 2007 10:05:00 AM, Blogger Stinkypaw said...

You are a wise-ass, but I'm sure you've got other smart parts too!

At Monday, August 27, 2007 12:23:00 PM, Anonymous Camiseta Personalizada said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At Monday, August 27, 2007 2:33:00 PM, Blogger Superstar said...

THAT is MEAN!!!!
I am still laughing!

At Monday, August 27, 2007 3:55:00 PM, Blogger carmachu said...

Thats the nikki we know and love.

If you want the recipe, drop me an email @

At Monday, August 27, 2007 4:01:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At Tuesday, August 28, 2007 8:55:00 AM, Anonymous Slick said...

Dang....that man might've needed some kind of therapy after such a traumatic event and you go and make fun of him.

Just like a woman! Thankfully ;)

At Saturday, September 01, 2007 5:56:00 AM, Anonymous Annie Drogynous said...

Now THAT's funny!!

At Tuesday, September 04, 2007 5:03:00 PM, Anonymous Jeff said...

THanks for the chuckle! :)


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