Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Go 'Head. Make My Day

Well, I'm employed. *puts down dirty rag*

I won't start for a couple of weeks. New boss guy has to do a back ground check and all that jazz before I can start. I'm not really worried about that triple homicide I committed showing up. I don't think they have my DNA on file anywhere in the criminal system. *metallic clicking in the back ground*

So in the mean time, I still here at the home front, making sure the grass grows and the cats fart. *opens small cardboard box*

The house is perfectly clean...in comparison to what N. O. looked like after Katrina anyway *sharp metallic clicking* and the neighbors are ready for me to go back to work. It seems to me, that I'm the only one around here that is a fan of 80's music and bright neon colors in my wardrobe. Never mind that I suffer from hearing loss blasting my music so loud that the neighbors can hear, *SHARP metallic click* and my eyesight will never be the same.

It's not that I give a crap what they think of me really *puts chamber in the round of gun* especially since the bastards have driven all the moles the the tri-county area into my yard and I'm out for a little revenge. *poses in mirror trying to look cool and cop like*

I've tried everything to get rid of the little fuckers....I mean, if the dog can't dig 'em up, what am I supposed to do? (the moles I mean, not the neighbors) *ties on Rambo bandanna and attempts lopsided grimace in mirror....dog barks*

The new job is the same as the old one, just a different company. There aren't that many places out there that want someone who can only work during the day and no weekends. (the fuckers) So here I am, mole hunting, and waiting to start work on a job I had hoped I was done with. I'm so fucking excited I can't stand anyone. *shoos cat out of room*

Maybe I'll just start job blogging. *ties socks together to make holster* There are some freaks out there, that's for sure.

Anyway, I'm off to my own little hell in the front yard...and the back yard, and the side yards.



BLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




shit, I think I just shot the dog.

Labels:

25 Comments:

At Tuesday, October 09, 2007 2:11:00 PM, Blogger *~*Cece*~* said...

LMAO! I'd love to see a picture of the get up you just described!

 
At Tuesday, October 09, 2007 4:25:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMOA

You know my sister tried that with pigeon problem in Arizona. He husband took away her pellet gun because the only thing she killed was his brand new gas grill. Congrats on the job. Way too go!

 
At Tuesday, October 09, 2007 7:02:00 PM, Anonymous nikki said...

Socks makes an awesome gun holster. Maybe next time you could try your bra.

 
At Wednesday, October 10, 2007 5:28:00 AM, Blogger Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

You shot the dog practicing for your new job as a pest control expert? You better start aiming at some beer cans before they let you loose on the mole population.

 
At Wednesday, October 10, 2007 11:10:00 AM, Blogger Attila The Mom said...

Congrats! Go get those little f*ckers (the moles I mean, not the neighbors)!

 
At Thursday, October 11, 2007 1:36:00 PM, Anonymous Slick said...

Daaaang, remind me never to accept an invite to your house! :)

Oh, and Nikki has a point.

 
At Thursday, October 11, 2007 5:52:00 PM, Blogger Sayre said...

Yeah... what business were you in???? And is everyone who works in it just like you? Sounds like bad news if you're a mole - or a neighbor... ;0)

Congrats on the job. I could be jobless just long enough to get my house in order. Then I'd go nuts.

 
At Thursday, October 11, 2007 6:29:00 PM, Blogger Sven said...

Up here we do the same thing, but with gophers!

 
At Friday, October 12, 2007 11:55:00 AM, Blogger St Jude said...

Hey it's new jobs all roung then.

 
At Friday, October 12, 2007 11:55:00 AM, Blogger St Jude said...

Oops... lost my ability to spell during my 'trip'.

 
At Saturday, October 13, 2007 8:33:00 AM, Blogger kim said...

Nice outfit lmao :)~ Target practice is always so theraputic! I think were happy about the job ??

 
At Saturday, October 13, 2007 3:03:00 PM, Blogger Pendullum said...

Nice imagery of the sock holster and you grimacing in the mirror and dog barking....

 
At Sunday, October 14, 2007 8:01:00 AM, Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Oh please. You? You leave DNA all over the place!

 
At Sunday, October 14, 2007 8:17:00 AM, Blogger carmachu said...

Ahhh, I knew I liked you for some reason...

 
At Tuesday, October 16, 2007 2:49:00 PM, Blogger Mrs. G. said...

I can see it now Law and Order SMKU...Special Mole Killer's Unit. Thanks for the laugh.

 
At Thursday, October 18, 2007 3:18:00 PM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

What happens if the cat DOESN'T fart?

 
At Friday, October 19, 2007 11:15:00 AM, Anonymous Jeff said...

Glad you are earning money again. If you really want to get at the moles, wait till they ask you for change and then rip them off!

(you see, moles are blind so they will never know)

 
At Wednesday, October 24, 2007 1:27:00 AM, Blogger Superstar said...

LOL
That is so funny!

I kept thinking about Caddy Shack and Bill Murray!!!

GREAT ending..I love the surprise ending!

Are you sure you are not available to teach?!?!?!?
LOL ;o)

 
At Sunday, October 28, 2007 9:47:00 AM, Blogger Attila The Mom said...

Did they eat you at that new job?

 
At Saturday, November 03, 2007 2:01:00 PM, Blogger Pendullum said...

Where are you my friend???
Just stopped by, with a bottle of wine in hand, , rang the blogbell and you were not home... But the porchlight was on... Please post again... Missing you...

 
At Sunday, November 04, 2007 10:45:00 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Hi Ho Folks!

I know I haven't posted in a while....even my own brother (aka BITCH) has fussed at me.

Just learning the ropes at this new company.

(BTW - I sell insurance...and no, not all insurance agents are like me....some have NO sense....of humor LMAO)

I'll be back in blog land in a bit...but I definately won't be posting as much. Seems the new place won't allow me to visit any websites that aren't "Trusted" so that means blogging at work is out.

The boss lady is great. I actually get aalong well with her...and yes that shocks me. I usually don't get along with women.

Other than that...I be a po ho.

OH! I know some of you are curious....Connor (now 2 1/2) was a chicken for Halloween, and Lauren was half devil, half angel. I simply took off my mask and let my warts hang free. (EW)

Anyway....

Be good ... or at least be good at it.

 
At Tuesday, November 13, 2007 11:17:00 AM, Blogger Pendullum said...

Thanks for the update...
I was so missing you...
Glad you are okay...
AndIwill anxiously await your latest post...

 
At Friday, November 16, 2007 9:38:00 PM, Blogger Mama en Fuego said...

will you come shoot my husbands dog? The bitch keeps dumping the garbage all over my kitchen.

 
At Monday, February 18, 2008 9:49:00 AM, Anonymous denise said...

That's some funny shit right there!
thanks for that.

 
At Thursday, July 31, 2008 10:27:00 PM, Blogger Wendy said...

That was great!! When you are done with yours you can come run the rabbits out of mine. We seem to be the hot spot for bunny sex!

 

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