Love Thy Boobies

I know that this is the second time in a month I have a link for you to click on for some do-gooder reason ....and it's probably left you so shocked that you're copiously drooling from all orifices...but hey, I don't have to clean it up...so here goes.



As some of you may or may not know, a mastectomy is when you go in for surgery and have either one or both of your boobies loped off.



I'm not a big fan of boobie lopping myself....but just as long as the removed bits aren't used in catapults and cannons, I'm okay with it. I secretly think that some mastectomies are done simply because the Dr is either a) jealous or b) a man or c) a jealous man, and wants to feel your boobies in the privacy of his own home.....but I digress.



Sometimes boobie loping is necessary due to cancer or the permanent impression of your ex-husband's hand print, and then it's a real big help.



As I'm sure you can all imagine, it hurts like the dickens when this happens and the insurance companies are wanting to make it an out patient surgery (all the quicker the Dr can go home and feel your boobie) while you still have all sorts of medical paraphernalia sticking out of your chest.....don't let that happen.....make the fucking Dr wait at least TWO days before he can go home and fondle you without your knowing.



Click here and sign the petition. They only need your name and zip code.



(I have so much tact and class that it's unreal.)

Clickity Click Click

Hello bitches.

Click here and then click on the purple box where it says "Click Here to Give - It's FREE" at the top of the page to help provide food for rescued animals.

What the hell are you doing?

Get to clickin'.

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I was airing out the house last weekend in the cool weather. All the windows in the house were open and we could hear all the outside sounds riding on the breezes.

Connor was content with playing with his trucks on the floor until we took another trip outside to hang up clothes and Lauren was outside riding her bike and torturing the dog.

I watched Little Dude squatting there on the floor repeatidly wrecking his trucks and making little kid sound effects and it was so damn cute, and a big bubble of love swelled inside my heart, creeping up my throat.

He looked up and caught my eye, smiled and said "Bootie"

I was taken aback. "BOOTIE?" I said.

"Yeah" he said nodding "Bootie."

"Where did you hear that word?"

He cocked his head at me and gave me the baby equivalent look of "you smoke crack"

"Bootie Mommy"

"WHAT? Are you saying that Mommy has BOOTIE??!!!"

"No, Mommy no got Bootie."

At this point I was speechless. What the hell was I going to do? Argue with a 2 year old?....AGAIN?

Connor saw my expression and saw something wasn't clicking.

"Feet Feet, Mommy. Bootie"

"Uh?"

Connor stood up, stomped his foot and yelled "BOOTIE GO FEET-FEET MOMMY!"

I didn't get it. My kid was talking about my feet and my bootie. What in the hell was going on?

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I finally caught on.

The birdie says tweet tweet.

Advised Needed Please

Today, we are going to take a break from our intermittently scheduled rants, snark and little kids stories for some serious discussion in which your advise is needed.

This will be a bit of a reader but please stick with me.....

I was talking to my sister in law on the phone the other night and she has a bit of a conundrum...her son. LOL Okay, not really her son, but her disciplining of said son.

David, (my nephew) is 18 months old and we were talking about disciplining our kids. Now before you all scream and cuss at me...understand I hit my children. I believe in physical discipline. I don't beat the ever living' crap out of them, but I do pop hands when there is touching of items that they shouldn't be touching...but I only hit and pop as a last resort after sufficient warnings - so believe me when I say we talked about it, she's tried it, and it doensn't work.

She needs advise on everyday disciplinary stuff. Stop climbing on that, don't do that etc.

I recommended counting and using her voice as a tool to help show David when he was sinking in ever deepening doo-doo with his mom. She advised that she tried the counting and when she would say "ONE" he would say "TWO" - thinking that mom was teaching him to count.

I personally send my son to bed for a minute. It's a terrible thing for him to be there and he comes out with hugs and kisses and "I SORRY" and says he won't do it again...until the next time.... IE Throwing himself on the floor because he didn't get his way.

Me - Connor, I said no more cookies and I mean what I say.

Connor - *throws self on floor*

Me - Connor, get up.

Connor - *screams and cries*

Me - ONE

Connor - *looks at me crying*

Me - TWO

Connor - *screams no mommy no*

Me - THREE. Then I go pick him up and put him to bed and I set the timer on the microwave for one minute and I then go check on him yada yada yada. We have progressed to the point that all I have to do is ask him if he wants to go Night-Night and he'll straighten up...the key factor here being I always have to be ready to follow thru on my threats of putting him to bed..and he does call me on it from time to time....testing limits.

For Connor, I have found this to be a very effective discipline. Spanking doesn't work with him, and was/is seldom needed with Lauren....

Counting worked great for Lauren, I rarely ever had to physically discipline her. She was so sensitive and people pleasing, all I had to do was look at her and tell her "Little girl, you're getting ready to have a bad day" and that would be that.

The problem here is Marla is at a loss of how to discipline David. He laughs at her if she spanks him...it doesn't bother him to be sent to his room.

The only other thing that I can think of is time out..and he seems to young for that.

What advise can you Moms out there give .... no flogging isn't an option.. Seriously, she needs a hand here. What do you and your friends do? Do you know of any good blogs or websites that deal with this sort of thing?
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I apologize for being gone for a full week, but I've been looking up some things on the internet and got distracted. NO! IT'S NOT PORN. you sicko.