Boy 1 is 6 yrs old, Boy 2 is 4 yrs old.
Squish Boy 1 and Boy 2 in the same room with the baby, just across the hall from only girl child - must be older (preferably with Mommy Syndrome), stir well with general bedlam and chaos, throw in a few pets for spice (add a pregnant full blooded Cocker Spaniel with separation anxiety if available), sprinkle with more than a dash of motion sickness from each child, generously add extremely curvy back roads. Sit back, watch everybody scream, fight and puke. You now have a day out of my life.
STOP TOUCHING ME! STOP TOUCHING ME! MS. NIKKI! PLEASE TELL HIM TO STOP TOUCHING ME!
Cue rolling eyes and heavy sigh.
This used to happen everyday on the way to and from Daycare/School. Now, noone is allowed to touch anyone while we are in the car.
LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU'RE BOTHERING ME! BE QUIET! GO AWAY!
Cue clenched jaw and frustrated look.
Again, this used to happen every morning on the way to and from Daycare/School. Now, we play the QUIET GAME and noone is allowed to talk to anyone. I get to turn the radio on and sing along - rather horribly I might add - with the music. I have a feeling that they think their punishment has gone on a bit to long, and is a bit to severe. Ms Nikki never threatened to sing along with the Beatles and Nora Jones. They all - even Connor - shoot accusatory looks at me from the back seat.
IT'S MY TURN TO BE UP FRONT! STOP IT! YOU RODE UP FRONT LAST TIME! YOU'RE TELLING STORIES!
Cue banging head against anything available - as long as it will draw blood - then I'm happy.
This stops after I threaten to stuff them all in the trunk or strap them to the roof of the car. To bad I can't banish them all to the back seat. There's only room for 2 plus Connor's car seat and then one in the front. I have to strain to remember who sat up front last - and to find out who sat up front while they rode with Redhead. Heaven help us all if I get it wrong.
MOM! BOY 2 HAS HIS THUMB IN HIS MOUTH! MOM! TELL HIM TO GET AWAY FROM ME! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM!
Cue searching for anything sharp to cut my wrists with.
The only response here? "Lauren, you're grounded anyway. Why are you out of your room. Don't let me catch you again, or you'll stay in there another 3 days. (gives crazy mom look) Try me."
I TOLD YOU TO GET YOUR SOCKS ON. WHY ARE YOU STILL RUNNING AROUND BAREFOOT? WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? LAUREN, WHERE IS YOUR BOOKBAG? WHERE ARE THE JACKETS? WHO MOVED THE JACKETS? WHY IS THE DOG OUT OF HIS KENNEL? PLEASE TAKE THAT FROM THE BABY....I SAID TAKE IT FROM THE BABY, NOT SNATCH IT FROM THE BABY. GIVE HIM A HUG AND KISS AND TELL HIM YOU'RE SORRY. YES, I KNOW HIS CRYING HURTS YOUR EARS.....OMG! WHAT WAS THAT! YOU DIDN'T BRUSH YOUR TEETH THIS MORNING! DON'T GIVE ME THAT! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU - YOU HAVE DRAGON BREATH...NO, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT COLOR DRAGON YOU ARE, GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH. CONNOR HONEY, STOP PULLING ON THE CATS TAIL.
This is me. This is my morning.
Please, Please, Please, Please...somebody, anybody...shoot me.
How do mothers with more than 2 cope? How do mothers of 2 with kids in the same age range cope? You are goddesses. You can do anything. I wanna be just like you. Goddesses can do everything and anything.....and hey,since you're goddesses, can you supply me with a winning lottery ticket - we need a nanny.
Thanks. 'Preciate it.
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