Flied Lice

ATM, this link is for you.

Chinese Food Song



Oh don't give me those hurt little puppy dog eyes. You can click on the link too.

All Kinds Of Stuff

OMG!!


BWWWAAAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *deep inhale* hahahahahahahaha

*wipes tear* haha....ha

I found this blog yesterday and I can't stop laughing. It comes to us via Trouble - maybe some of you know her...she had started this blog and I had NO idea.

Annie is always referring to morons on her dating message boards and what not - and now I have a glimpse of idiotic advertising....or is that advertising for idiots...or maybe idiots looking more idiotic to attract other idiots....hmmm, I don't know....but I'm gonna read every last damn one of those adds because I LOVE to laugh.

Thanks Trouble.

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Our blogging bud Mel in Orygun needs your vote to get paid to blog. Chickie needs some love - so get to clicking on the badge and vote for her - she deserves it.







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Lauren asked me what a "dick" was the other night and almost had a damn coronary. After I could breathe,I was sorely (excuse the pun here) tempted to show her a picture of her father...but she asked what a dick was - not a dickhead. There's a fine line there.

WHAT????!!!!!

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Charles got all mushy on my last night and told me he thinks about me all the time. I told him that plotting of ways to kill me doesn't count. He said that was fine - because he was thinking of ways to maim me, not kill me.

Thoughtful fucker isn't he.

I Can Read Dr. Joe Like A Book

My dear friend Dr. Joseph McCrumble has written a book....he got it published and everything.(The Wonderful World of Dr Joseph McCrumble - Celebrity Parasytologist)

I don't know if you've ever clicked over that way and read his blog...but he is very entertaining...he cracks me up with all of his misadventures. He's much better at screwing up a situation than I am LOL (sorry Joe). For example...if he had been to a gentleman's party and his fly burst open...he'd probably ask the guy next to him to zip it...and for the poor guy to try not to feel jealous while he was doing it....at least that's what I'm guessing would happen. (snicker)

I clicked on the link to read about the book and this particular except caught my eye...

"we begin a tumultuous adventure with more twists and turns than an amateur plumbing convention"

and of course, I took notice of this....

"This edition of the diary also contains a 70 page story called ‘Five Days in Denver’ — an entirely fictional and racy account of scientists behaving badly at a scientific conference"

Now, Dr Joe is a celebrity (not like Paris Hilton - he's much more hairy), and in keeping with throwing crumbs to the little people from afar...most proceeds go to charity. (And this one is a very good charity I would think)

...and just FYI to all you cyberstalkers out there...if you read the book and want to have his baby...I will laugh at you.

The book is titled The Wonderful World of Dr Joseph McCrumble, you can get it on Amazon...or click here to take a look and read a few pages.

I can't wait to get my copy....Dr Joe never fails to get me giggling with a dropped jaw at some of his exploits....

Go buy the book...or at least go tell him how much you think it's going to suck. (love ya Joe)

This is Owed

Oh Mighty Quinn and Sayre - winners of the Operation: Lose That Ass challenge.

I bow to your greatness.

I am but an infinitesimal worm compared to you.

You wit is greater, your will power more strong, and you snark is more snarky than mine.

How have I lived without knowing you?

How could I ever continue to live and breath with out your advanced knowledge and wisdom due to your ADVANCED AGE. *ahem*

I will never be as good as either of you.

I will strive all the days of my life to be held in the same high reguard (won't take long though).

Please, pat me on my little head as you pass me in the hall or on the street so that I may have inner peace.

I will take comfort in the fact that you acknowledged someone as lowly as I am and will dance with joy shouting and jumping around the fire - because I will then be considered "COOL".

I will be one of the chosen.




um yeah....I meant every word of it too. Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom to vomit....damn, I didn't make it.

Mini Humps

Hey Everybody.

I'm going to be taking a bloggin' break. My friends are moving in this weekend and it's going to take a while getting everyone and everything settled. I'll still be doing my Operation Lose That Ass updates and I'm sure a sporadic update here and there.

While I'm gone, I've got some of the blogs I read for you below.

Please don't be upset if you're not on this list. I tried to get to everyone and there was just no way for me to do it. I apologize Rain, Sophia, Rev, Wayne, Mama Tulip, Mama C, and about 50 more that I read. You guys rock too (except for Rain) and just didn't have time to do more.

A Bug's Life - Pan lives in Milan Italy. She's a teenager - 18 now I think. She's very sweet and I really like it that she takes a look at herself in an intellectual sort of way, and she's a lot of fun. My favorite posts of hers are of the signs.

Beer Drinking Scale - 0 - Sorry Pan, but here in the States, you're underage.

A Tykes Progress - St Jude is a woman among women. Gracious, thoughtful, funny and very down to earth. I quite like her and wish to high heaven that SHE had been my mother in law instead of this demon woman I'm cursed with now. My personal favorites of hers are her Experiments. Don't know what I'm talking about? To bad for you, cause they are FUNNY.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 . She's just one of those people that you'd love to sit down and chat with.

An Allegorical Life - Kat is the woman! I love her quirky sense of humor. The woman has brains and sometimes just shocks me. She has kindly pointed out that I am not a fuckity fuck-fuck. She's such a sweetie.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - cause I would love to get this woman drunk and hear some of the stuff that she would come up with. Hey Kat..do you guys do confessions? ..and if you do, I'll get you really really drunk just so I can hear some of it. LOL


Call Me Soccor Mom and DIE - I love Christina - in that special non lesbian way. She constantly takes me by surprise. Her humor is so great. A gar-un-teed giggle if you go visit her - that is - if you have a good sense of humor. A real and gen-u-wine person.

Beer Drinking Scale - 4 - only because she's a preachers wife and it would freak my sinnin ass out...uh never mind, make that 5 cause she's funny.


Desert Odyssey - I love this guy. I have ribbed him endlessly and he has taken it with real grace and good humor. I mean, really, some of the shit I have talked to this guy...(snicker). I really like it when a man can take a joke and I just can't seem to fight off cracking on how a guy named Lucky Humped me and how good it was for me. (MUST. FIGHT. WISECRACKS)(wipes sweat from forhead)Lucky has a brain. His posts are intellegent with a sprinkle of "little kid" all at the same time. I enjoy his blog.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - because I think he's be a laid back kind of guy. I'd buy. (no this is not an attmept to get him raving drunk to take adv...sorry Lucky - I caught myself LOL)

DILLIGAF - this guy is fucking hilarious. I found him thru Lucky's blog. His blog title stands for - DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK. If you want to laugh up roarously, go visit him. To me, he gives off a real - I DON'T GIVE A FUCK attitude, and I respect that. He doesn't seem to be one of those people who secretly give a fuck but try to hide it. I get the distinct impression that he really doesn't give a fuck.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5, and I would buy them all, just to get him to tell me some stories and to hear him talk shit.

Dirty Laundry - OMG OMG OMG. This chick makes me knee slap sometimes. I distinctly remember one of her comments on my blog that made me laugh manically "so i'm immature, so blow me" I have loved her in that special non-lesbian way ever since. I like that she says what she means. I'm very excited about her being pregnant because it's such an awesome thing - even though it can be difficult and painful and piss you off because your body goes to shit. Don't sweat it - that little person is well worth it. Go read her blog. It's not all about pregnancy and what not - she just tells it like it is. (btw -- I'd be happy to make a baby blanket if you would like - just tell me the colors)

Beer Drinking Scale - 0 - sorry Becka, but the whole preganacy thing means no. I will however have several large cups of water with you and watch you run to the bathroom every 10 seconds.

Dooce - If you haven't read this lady you are really missing out. She is so so so funny. I don't read her everyday, I check in on her about twice a week and usually get a good giggle.

Beer Drinking Scale - 0 - this chick is on some meds and I don't want to introduce alcohol into her system. No thanks. Her writing is funny, but I wouldn't want to hang with her.

Dribblingwitt - This woman tells some of the best stories I have ever read. I don't know how to explain it other than that. I love her writing style and she comes across as secretive, but open at the same time. A great writer.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - cause I want to write like that one day.

Eva Las Vegas - What can I say about Kristin that most of us don't already know? She's great and now is a writer for MONEY. Say it with me kids...say writer for MONEY. ALL HAIL KRISTIN! You go with your bad self girlie.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - cause if I get her drunk, maybe I can talk her into getting me a job doing that same thing....oh wait, there's no publication out there that allows swearing...never mind...but I'd still drink a beer with her.

Fun With Hand Grenandes - Dread Cow takes you on a journey with his blog. I have read all of his archives up to the current day. He's a soldier deployed to Iraq and tells it like it is. I visit him often, though I rarely comment. This blog is important to me in a way since he and my brother are over there at the same time, though I don't think in the same place. He's currently on hiatus, but he's still worth your reading time. It'll open your eyes to what's really going on over there - sans mass media bullshit.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - cause he's over there doing what needs to be done, protecting all of our families. Dread Cow, I'd buy for you and all of your buddies if I ever have the chance.

Heather's Small Space -Heather is a gamer and she keeps her blog mainly to let her family know what's going on with her. Very nice person and can kick anybody's ass any day of the week with her crosstitching ablility.

Beer Drinking Scale - 3 - cause I'm jealous that she can cross stitch like that and the only thing I can do is tangle the thread.

If It Wasn't This It Would Be Something Else - one of the very few open and giving to a fault people I know, in or out of blogland. I'm proud to call her my friend.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - no further explination needed.

Jennster - this is the most fun chick out there. She's not about being a bitch or whatever, she is who she is. A very bubbly natural personality - very gen-u-wine. But don't go visit her if you don't want to be called a Fucktard or a Whore, cause she'll make you cry.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - cause I would love to see this chick drunk..er..as long as she doesn't puke or anything LOL

Kevin Charnas - you are missin out if you haven't read this guy yet. He is fuckin hysterical. There has been more than once where I have spit something on my computer screen. He's genuinely funny. He doesn't give me the vibe where he has to stretch it - he just is who he is.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5, but only if he brings Will and that chick he keeps talking about that over heard the conversation thru the bushes. SUCK IT SUCK IT. Don't know what I'm talking about? to bad for you. It's one of the funniest posts ever.


Memoirs of Misha - My soul sista. Misha is a truely twisted individual that somehow makes the rest of us believe she's normal (yeah right). She's a belly dancer!! (Go Misha! Go Misha) She's also one of the biggest smart asses on the face of the earth. LOL I love her humor.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - cause she is friggin hilarious and I can see a table full of us bullshitting and hurling spit balls at men.

Mhitheag - a photo journal. They take a pink bag with them on their travels - great theme.

Beer Drinking Scale - 1 - I don't know them, but would like to sit down and have them tell me all the places that they've been and all the things they've done. A bit scary though, since I don't know them at all.


Now What The Hell Do I Do - Nikki is an absolute trip. She can talk some shit buddy, let me tell you - a trait I rather admire LOL. She's all about her son Aaron and loves her some Elvis sighting Wednesdays.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - she's just cool like that.

Oh, The Joys - I enjoy - really enjoy that she is not afraid to make fun of herself and is very honest. She just gives me that "I am who I am" vibe and I like it. She talks a lot about butts and poo b/c she has wee ones and that's what moms do. But, I have to say, in my opinion, no one else could talk about butts and poo and make it funny like she does. Not gonna happen. I also think is terriblely funny that she claims to love to cuss, though I have never seen her do it. LOL

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - cause I think she is friggin hilarious and anyone who can make butts and poo sound fun ...I wanna drink a beer with 'em - then tell them the terrible, horrible truth about how butts and poo are icky and gross and she really needs to get a grip on reality...nah, never mind, it'd fuck up her blog.


Only Happy When It Rains - Claire takes some really beautiful pictures and has a great photo blog. I just love her photos. We've shared a couple of emails and I really have to say that she is such a lovely person, one of those people that you enjoy knowing.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - even though I'm afraid if I got her drunk, I wouldn't be able to understand what she was saying because of her accent. LOL

Rhonda's Ruminations - I've touched on her before. You will have a hard time finding someone who will touch your soul like Rhonda can. She has a true gift. She can get inside you sometimes and give you the shivers and make you cry. I love her blog.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - cause I want to write like her too.

Seriously My Vay-Jay-Jay - This chick comes up with some of the most off the wall stuff I have ever run across. She's a nurse, which is what originally got me reading her. My mom's a nurse, thus the initial interest. The penis postings are by far my favorite, just because NO ONE ELSE ON THE FACE OF THE BLOGOSPHERE has post 2 or 3 back to back postings on biological man leashes. She will trip you out.

Beer Drinking Scale - 3 - because nurses see some scary shit and have to tell you all the gory details and I'm not quite sure if she's that type of drunk or not, so she scores a 3 just because of the unknown factor. LOL (mom, you've scarred me)

Single Life In Your 30's - I'll never forget the first post I read of hers. She mentioned GAYDAR - as in radar for gay men. That is so funny to me. I laughed so hard. OMG. If you haven't read her yet - poor you. I especially like her comments because her (actions) are so visual for me. On the posting I did of the practical joke hubby did to me, she put in (unpacks bags) and I saw her do it in my head. I love that shit.

Beer Drinking Scale - 5 - cause she's funny, goes to a lot of bars, and we could probably get in free at the majority of them. That's my kind of drinkin buddy right there. LOL

Doctor, I Feel a Pulse!

I'm baaaack!

Don't be afraid. I'm harmless - except for the rabies. he he

I'm sorry I have neglected my blog and yours. I've had some family business to attend to. Now it's time to torture you again. AREN'T YOU EXCITED? (don't lie to yourself, you know you are)

I want to point you in the direction of a new blog that I have found. It's called Post Me A Secret - you may have seen it on my side bar already. It's similar to Post Secret, with the main exception of.... regular Joes and Joe-ette's can email their secrets and they'll be posted for the entire world to see, and it's done anonymously. It's good for getting that stress off your chest (or anywhere else you store it). There's also a comment section, so you get feed back on your secret. It's not just updated on Sundays so you don't have to wait in tortured silence to see if you'll be posted or not. The most important thing about this blog is that I really want to know your business - so go visit and send in your sin. I wanna read all about it.

That's it for now I'm afraid. The baby wants a beer and Hubby needs his diaper changed...er...you know what I mean.

Where is the Calgon when you need it?

Only Happy When It Rains

I'll be the first to admit I'm not much for art, but I love a pretty picture. Unfortunately, I don't have much of an eye to take the pictures, the best I can do is take out of focus shots of the floor. But I do admire them after they have been taken, matted, framed and appropriately overpriced for purchase.

Sometime last week, I stumbled across a photo journal. Some of these pictures are just breath taking. So lovely. Claire has an unbelievable eye and she lives in Scotland, which I've been told is one of the most beautiful countries on earth. It certainly seems that way.

Go visit her and enjoy her beautiful pictures. Give her a shout to let her know you were there. She even has a site you can visit to buy one or four of her pictures if you want and the prices won't force you to mortgage your home.

(One of my favorite pictures is the one of the pansy entitled PURPLE, the colors are just so vivid and wonderful)

Spread the Love

Please go HERE and read this. You'll thank me for it.

Jim will give you quite a good laugh. It seems he loves to fly, and has a special affection (or affliction) for Cali.

Funny, Funny stuff.